Just a Moment
by fallfromreality
Summary: Jane makes a friend, and maybe things start to look up. Just a short little piece to lighten things up a bit
1. Chapter 1

Hey yall,

Had to take a break from the angst fest that is The Sharpest lives, so here is a slightly less angsty, hopefully more hopeful story to cheer us all up a little!

Hope you guys enjoy :)

-Fallen

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

It had been months since the baby shower, and Jane still felt the distance. Unable to connect to Kurt, or the rest of the team. The invisible barrier between them while lessened, still firmly lay between them, and nothing she ever did seemed good enough to bring it down.

Though Patterson, and her had a few moments where they felt like friends again. They'd met for coffee, and Jane had worn the high of it on her sleeve for weeks. Just getting to see Patterson's face light up as she talked about Dr. Borden, made the darkness in her life seem just a little brighter.

But even that just barely sustained her.

She had stopped trying shortly after the baby shower. In that moment the isolation, and separation between her and the others had been so frighteningly clear.

Nothing would fix it but time. Or at least she hoped.

She instead concentrated on the mission. If she couldn't be their friend, she would be their weapon, and their shield. No one would touch them or harm them while they were under her protection. So her drive went up a notch, her intensity almost frightening to the rest of them. Her willingness to jump on the grenade at an all-time high.

Still none of them questioned it. None of them cared enough to ask her if she was okay. To ask if she'd eaten anything or had anything to drink aside from the coffee that might as well have hung on an IV besides her for the amount she drank.

But it didn't bother her. She ate only as much as she absolutely had to. She drank only as much as she must. She slept only as much as the nightmares would allow, forcing herself to sleep after she emptied her stomach ever night, because sleep deprivation would make her ineffective and that couldn't happen.

Then something changed.

Almost five weeks after the baby shower she ran into Ally at the grocery store a block from her apartment. It had been just after 3 in the morning, she'd been unable to go back to sleep, and she needed something anything to do. So she went to get a snack from the store. Though she knew it would taste like ash in her mouth.

She just needed to escape the stark grey walls of her safe house.

She'd nearly jumped out of her skin at the checkout counter, when someone had called her name from behind.

"Jane?" She had to stop herself from reaching to where her gun lay behind her shirt.

"Ally?" She questioned, when she turned and realized who she'd spoken to. In the last few weeks Ally's bump had become oblivious. Sticking out from her slender frame in a way that drew the eyes, "What are you doing here?"

"The baby is craving jalapeno bites, so here I am," Ally said with a laugh, raising a hand she nodded to the box she carried in her hands with a halfhearted shrug. It seemed to say, what can you do?

"Should you be out here alone?" Jane asked, eyes scanning the room, tension returning to her frame. Sandstorm was still out there, and they had Kurt in their sight line. She knew they wouldn't hesitate to harm Ally or the baby if it would get them what they wanted.

"I'm fine Jane, I'm pregnant not handicapped," Ally replied, her voice kind as she stepped closer, "Anyway, Kurt's undoubtedly asleep and Brian is on a stakeout. So what's a girl to do?"

Jane closed the remaining distance between them, "Well let me walk you home, please?" she asked, trying to keep her hands from trembling. Imagining what would happen if something happened to ally. If something happened to Ally and she could have prevented it. She would never forgive herself.

They'd never forgive her.

"Jane, are you alright?" Ally had asked, concern evident in her tone.

"I'm fine," Jane replied, reaching for her wallet, and throwing a twenty on the counter. "Do you need anything else?"

"Jane you didn't have to do that," Ally looked between the bill on the counter and Jane, "Really, I would have paid for myself."

Jane forced herself to smile, "Ally its fine, it's the least I could do, I never did get a chance to thank you for allowing me to come to the party. Now come on, let me walk you home? Or call you a cab?"

Ally simply looked at her, "Jane I didn't allow you to come, I wanted you there from the beginning? Did Kurt not tell you that? You deserved to be there, if you hadn't of been there that day we wouldn't have been having a party."

Jane just shook her head, it didn't matter, "its fine Ally, I only did my job, nothing special. You would have made it out of there-"

"No Jane, I wouldn't have, neither would the baby. Please, let me say thank you for real! I tried to hunt you down after we cut the cake, but you must have left early."

Jane just smiled again, no use in telling Ally that she'd known when she'd overstayed her welcome. She'd gotten out of there as soon as she could.

Ally seemed to realize she wouldn't be able to reach her, and just gave her a sad smile, "Okay Jane, you sure you want to walk me home? I don't want you to go out of your way."

Jane just smiled at her, "It's not out of my way, and I just want to make sure you get home safe."

"Okay," Ally replied, and then relayed her address.

"Hm, you live right down the block," Jane told her unable to hide her surprise.

"Really? I can't believe we've never run into each other before."

Jane nodded, "Yeah, funny right? We've been so close this whole time."

"Yeah, it is."

"Well, come on, I'm sure you don't want to eat cold Jalapeno bites," Jane said with a wink, and then moved to start walking out the door. Careful to make sure she stayed in front of Ally while they exited, and then stationed herself between Ally and the street when they reached it.

"Very true," Ally replied with a laugh, linking arms with Jane as they walked.

"It's so funny that we've never really talked before," Ally told her as they crossed the street, reaching up to tighten her scarf against the cold.

Jane nodded, "I guess," she didn't say that the reason they'd never talked happened to be a 6'2 man of their mutual acquaintance. But she had to admit this conversation was the most human she'd felt since before Kurt had arrested her.

"It's okay, I know Kurt made things a bit awkward in the beginning, but Jane," Ally called, waiting until Jane looked back at her before she continued, "I'd really like to be friends. We should exchange numbers, what do you think?"

Jane felt herself nodding before she'd given it any thought, "I think I'd like that," She wasn't too desperate to admit that she didn't have any friends now. And she wouldn't be so stubborn as to resist the chance to have even just one person who she could actually talk to.

By the time they stopped in front of Ally's apartment building Jane felt lighter somehow. They'd done nothing more than chat idly, but still it felt like she'd come alive. She felt a genuine smile stretch across her face for the first time in months when she handed Ally her number.

Ally smiled back, "Let's plan to get coffee, maybe Saturday?"

Jane nodded, "As long as we don't have a case I should be free, I'll text you?"

They'd agreed, and Jane had waited until she saw Ally enter her apartment before she turned to walk back to her own place. Alone. As always. But, still when she got back she found that sleep found her easily and for once she slept. She didn't wake up screaming or running to the bathroom. Instead she woke the sound of her alarm clock ringing.

That had been the beginning, Ally and she had met for coffee that Saturday, though Ally drank decaf. It had become a ritual. They met every weekend from that point onward.

Anytime Ally had a late night craving and Brian wasn't home, she called Jane. Jane never minded, she usually found herself awake anyway. Then Jane would go pick her up and they would walk together to the corner store. It felt liberating, being able to laugh, to chat, and be human with someone who didn't look at her with contempt.

Soon it seemed like any moment Jane or Ally weren't working they were together. She'd even had dinner with Ally and Brian a few times. It felt awkward at first but she found that she liked the man Ally had chosen. They were a good fit.

Then after a few weeks of the routine, Jane decided to invite Patterson to join them, and soon she joined them every other Saturday.

It felt amazing.

Even though things between her and the rest of the team remained relatively unchanged she felt better.

She hadn't realized how dead she'd felt inside until she started to have a life again. No longer were her days simply work, sandstorm, training, rinse, wash and repeat. Now she had things to look forward to. Friends to talk with, to tell about her worries and her fears.

Now, she stared at her phone in disbelief, _Jane we're headed to the hospital! Looks like the munchkin is finally on her way out! Hurry up!_

She felt herself smile, and she rushed to get dressed into something more presentable. Then she ran out of the door, hailing the first cab she saw, and telling them to hurry to the hospital.

Ally and she had, had so many conversations about the baby that Jane felt almost like the child's aunt. Ally always showing up with new sonograms, and things to show her. Even once inviting her to an appointment when both Kurt and Brian were unable to attend.

Jane would never forget the way her heart had felt ten times bigger staring at the baby on the screen. How hearing the steady heartbeat had sent tears coursing down her face. To be included in such a moment felt so beautiful.

She'd be forever grateful that they had run into each other that night. That for whatever reason Ally had reached out for her and refused to let her go.

When she arrived at the hospital, she quickly found the front desk and asked for information. The woman at the counter directed her to the proper waiting room.

She headed up the elevator to the third floor, fully prepared to sit quietly in the waiting room while she waited for news. She'd already texted Ally to let her know that she had arrived and would be waiting out there.

When she stepped off the elevator, she turned, heading down the hallway as the secretary had advised her and she quickly found the waiting room.

She stopped short when she saw who else was in the waiting room. Ready to turn back and retreat when he turned and saw her.

"Jane? What are you doing here?" Kurt demanded, his tone somewhere between confused and angry.

"Ally, texted me," She replied quietly.

"Why would she do that?" Kurt asked, his tone sharp. Jane and Ally had only ever touched on the topic of Kurt, and they had an unspoken agreement that he simply didn't need to know about their friendship.

She shrugged, "We've been getting coffee," She couldn't force the word, we're friends, out of her mouth for some reason.

"And?"

She shrugged again, "We've gotten close, she sent me a text, and told me to come."

Kurt just narrowed his eyes at her as if he didn't believe her.

"I can go if you want," She offered, though her heart sank in her chest at the prospect.

"No, stay, if she wanted you here," Kurt replied, closing his eyes and sighing, "I'm sorry, this is a stressful process."

She nodded, sitting down in the seat furthest from him, and pulling out a book. She wouldn't force him to engage her in conversation. It would only be more awkward.

Sometime passed before she heard him take a seat, out of the corner of her eyes she noticed that he'd chosen the seat only a few down from hers.

He sat with his elbows on his knees and his hands on his head. She could tell that he was stressed out of his mind.

"They'll be fine," she told him softly, even now unable to resist the need to comfort him.

"Thank you," He replied, he sounded tired.

Then they sat in silence waiting for news. But after the exchange the silence felt less tense.

Hours later, a nurse came out, and called for Kurt.

She watched him jump out of his seat and practically race over to her. It made her smile.

The nurse took Kurt back, at almost the exact time her phone buzzed.

She looked down, Brian had texted her a picture, Ally lay in a hospital bed tired and sweaty but smiling brightly the tiny bundle laying against her chest. The text read, _Rosaline Weller 7lb 6oz, born at 4:46am._ Jane felt tears building in her eyes, as she replied, letting him know that she was beautiful and to tell Ally she was beautiful!

Almost an hour later, her phone buzzed again, _come tell her yourself. We're in room 3-112._

Almost a mirror of Kurt, she too leapt from her seat and walked as fast she could without looking like a crazy person to the room in question. She paused at the door to simply look in, Ally still lay in the bed, talking tiredly with Kurt who sat on the bed beside her the baby in his arms. Brian sat in a chair besides them, Ally's hand in his as he stared at her lovingly.

She almost turned to go, even now she didn't believe she belonged here, but Ally turned and caught sight of her, "Jane," She said with a smile, wearily gesturing her to come in the room.

Jane hesitated, especially when Kurt looked up from the baby to watch her, though his eyes seemed friendlier than they had in sometime.

"Come on, she won't bite," Ally said with a laugh.

Jane smiled timidly, as she entered the room and approached the bed, "Do you want to hold her?" Ally asked, taking Jane's hand as she got closer.

"I'm not sure if I should," She replied, trepidation filling her. What if she dropped her? She didn't know if she'd ever held a baby before.

"You won't, I promise," Ally replied, gesturing to Kurt, "Come on, stop hogging her and give her to Jane."

Ally carefully positioned Jane's arms, and then again gesturing to Kurt, "Kurt, hand the baby over, Jesus."

"Alright, alright, Christ woman," Kurt retorted, giving Jane a look that said he didn't know if he trusted her but he didn't know if he didn't either.

She could take that, and then suddenly there was a baby in her arms. Immediately she noticed the soft, sweet smell that seemed to pour off her. Her eyes were closed and her tiny nose twitched as if she were going to sneeze. Her tiny lips pursed for a second but then she relaxed.

Jane didn't think she'd ever seen something so amazing, "She's beautiful," She breathed, unable to tear her gaze away from those rosy cheeks.

Despite the added weight of the baby, her body felt lighter than it had in months. God, she never wanted to let her go.

The baby gave a happy little sigh, and seemed to burrow closer to her. Jane's heart melted even more, one of her hands coming up to stroke that tiny little cheek. Unable to believe how soft the infant's skin felt against the pad of her finger.

She heard the click of a camera, but even that didn't make her lift her head. She'd been entranced.

"Well, I think we've found a babysitter," Ally joked at the two men besides her, Brian laughed having met Jane a few times and found her very likable. Kurt didn't immediately argue so Jane took that as the best she'd get.

"I don't think I've ever held a baby before," Jane confided to Ally, her eyes tearing away from the babies for a few seconds to meet Ally's. "This is amazing."

"I won't lie, I make a pretty kick ass kid, don't I?" Ally said with a smirk.

Jane felt herself nodding, already her eyes pulled back by the babies tiny gravitational pull.

She had no idea how much time passed as she simply stared at this tiny life in her arms before Brian came to grab her.

"Alright, the nurses are going to come in anytime now to fuss at us, technically visitor's hours aren't until 9. Do you think you could come back then?"

Jane nodded, "OF course, thank you for letting me be here, and congratulations again, she's beautiful." She'd never been so sincere in her life, she felt privileged to be able to be there. To be trusted to hold such a precious gift in hands that didn't deserve the pleasure.

She left soon after, she felt in a daze, an almost high from the experience.

It wasn't until she got to the apartment that the more melancholy thoughts took over. It hadn't been so long ago that she thought it would be her in a hospital bed presenting Kurt with a tiny bundle of joy. It hadn't been so long ago that she imagined Kurt would look at her the way that Brian had looked at Ally.

Still, she did her best to push those thoughts away.

Her life now better than it had been before that night in the corner store. She felt like maybe there was hope for her, Kurt and the team again. The bubbling joy that had filled her heart returning as she thought again about the smell of baby and the feel of her skin.

One day maybe, she'd get the chance to have her own baby, with Kurt or someone else. Who knew? But until then she would be the best Aunt a baby could ever ask for. Already she'd planned things they could do as the girl got older. Planned the next time her and Ally would go out with a stroller in front of them.

For the first time in a while she felt something other than dread at the thought of her future.

For the first time in forever she didn't want the end of Sandstorm to mean the end of her as well.

For once she had hope. Hope that maybe someday soon things could be better.

Maybe one day they would be.


	2. Chapter 2

The next time Jane sees either Allie or Rosaline, it's been almost a month since Allie got discharged from the hospital. The team had just gotten back from a particularly rough case, and Jane feels like her whole body is littered with bruises.

She'd gotten into a fight with a car bomb, and lost. But she'd pushed Zapata out of the way. So in some small way she felt good about these bruises. She felt even better about the small smile Reade had sent her way, and the relief in his voice when he thanked her.

Then, of course, Kurt had gotten a hold of her, she swore she couldn't tell if the ringing in her ears was because of the bomb or him screaming about her. Apparently she'd been both "reckless" and "careless", something he simply wouldn't allow. Despite the fact that he never discouraged her from following through with any of Naz's half-baked plans or ever bothered to give her a reason to think that her life had any value aside from her ability to sacrifice for them.

She sighed, trying to push the thoughts from her mind as she rustled around in her freezer trying to find the ice-cream she'd bought herself a few weeks ago. She deserved a treat after all.

"Gotcha," She cooed triumphantly as her fingers closed around the tub of pistachio ice-cream. Allie had introduced it to her on one of their many craving induced nights out, and Jane had fallen in love. It felt like the perfect ice-cream, a little sweet, a little salty, and a little savory with the ground pistachios tucked into the ice-cream.

She'd just opened the tub, ready to shove her spoon in and gorge herself when her phone range.

She answered with a groan, "This is Jane Doe-"

"God Jane, is that anyway to greet your best friend and baby momma?" Allie's voice washed over her and she felt her lips curl into a smile.

"Well, A. I don't think you're _my_ baby Momma, something tells me Brian would have a problem with that, and B. I didn't get a chance to check the caller ID, so better safe than sorry," She shot back with a laugh. Amazing that she spoke more here in this moment with Ally than she had the entire case with the team. What did that say about them?

"I don't know, he likes you, I'm sure we could figure something out," Allie replied, and Jane could hear the smirk in her voice.

She just shook her head, "I don't know if he likes me that much Allie, but I do like to keep things interesting," she paused as if considering.

Allie laughed, "See this is why I like you Jane, but, before you get me too side-tracked I did call with a purpose."

"Oh yeah? What's up?" Jane asked, her ice-cream all but forgotten on the counter.

"Well, I need to get out of the house desperately, and I was hoping you might come keep Rosaline and me company? Maybe walk to the park or get the bookstore or really anywhere that isn't here?"

Jane was already grabbing her keys, and slipping on her boots, "Be there in five."

"You're the best," Allie told her before hanging up the phone.

Twenty minutes later they were rolling out of Allie apartment together. Allie pushed the stroller, but Jane held Rosaline in her arms.

Holding her felt as glorious and freeing as it had in the hospital room. Just as she had then, Jane found herself soothed by the sweet smell of baby, and she wanted nothing more than to never let her go.

"So, how's work been? Tell me everything, seriously, I'm dying here, what do the bathrooms look like again?" Allie joked, but Jane could tell the woman would be back to work sooner rather than later. Which she understood, even knowing how Rosaline made her feel, she wouldn't be able to resist going back to work either.

"It's fine, we solved a big tattoo case today," Jane told her, as they walked towards the park situation between their two buildings, "nothing too eventful, just an arms dealer and his cronies."

"Only you would think that's no big deal," Allie huffed, "I swear you guys see it all, don't you?"

Jane only nodded, shifting Rosaline's weight to her other side, her bruised ribs already protesting the extra weight. Amazing how heavy seven pounds could feel in the right circumstances. But still she didn't know if she'd ever put the little girl down.

"How's the team doing? I saw Patterson after Rosaline was born, but I haven't really seen the other since the baby shower." Allie asked.

"I think Reade and Zapata might be dating," She had noticed the glances they shot each other, and when they started arriving within two minutes of each other every day. But then again, she noticed most things, when no one talked to you, you tended to have a lot of time to watch. "Patterson, and Borden are still going strong."

Allied smiled, "Reade finally nutted up, huh?"

Jane smirked back, "Yeah he must have, or more likely Zapata finally got fed up waiting for him to make a move and made one herself."

The thought made them both giggle, Rosaline let out a sleepy yawn, and looked up at them when the sound started her, "I'm sorry baby, we'll be quieter," Jane whispered, exchanging a glance with Allie.

They walked the rest of the way to the park in silence, but it felt comfortable, not tense like with the team.

When they finally got the park, they chose a bench with a nice view of the park and a perfect beam of sun to sit on.

Allie broke the silence first, "Ya know, I never knew I could love another being as much as I love her, but I'm going crazy cooped up in the house all day. I must sound like a terrible mother for being so ready to go back to work," She looked at Jane and it was clear that this had been troubling her.

Jane shook her head, reaching out with her free hand to clasp Allie's shoulder, "Not at all Allie, you're used to being in on the action, and being home mostly by yourself can be hard. No one's going to judge you for going back to work, and if they do, fuck 'em they aren't worth having in your life." She paused, looking at her friend who suddenly seemed so vulnerable, "Seriously, Allie, no one doubts for a second that you love her. You just have to see how you are around her, only an idiot would think she wasn't your world. But being a mother doesn't take a way the fact that you're a person too, just means that your priorities shift around a little, ya know?"

Allie gave her a watery smile, "Thanks Jane, I needed to hear that, and I mean it's not like I'm going back immediately. It's just that my maternity leave is up soon, and Brian and I were talking about if I should go back to work or try to take more leave. I just hate feeling like she only a month old and I'm already letting her down."

Jane nodded, she couldn't understand how her friend felt, having no children herself, but she could imagine, "The only way you could ever let her down is if you left her and never came back. And you'd never do that Allie, she'll grow up never doubting for a second that she has a mother who loves her. Trust me, not everyone gets that." She certainly hadn't.

"You're right Jane, thank you," Allie replied, her smile stronger, and her face softened as she looked at the bundle Jane held against her chest. "She'll grow up surrounded by people who love her, including you Jane, so you have to stick around, alright?"

It was Jane's turn to tear up, but she turned her face away looking instead at the park around them. Even around Allie she didn't feel comfortable showing that kind of weakness, "I'll do my best," she replied, her grip tightening on Rosaline just for a second before she loosened it again, "But it might not be up to me."

Allie went to reply, but the sound of her phone interrupted, and she answered apologetically, "Kurt-whoa take a breath, what's wrong?"

Upon hearing that Jane focused in on the conversation.

"No, no, nothing happened, I'm at the park with Jane, Rosaline's right here-I'm looking right at her Kurt. Seriously what is going on?" Eventually Allie nodded, "We'll be there in a second."

When she hung up, she looked dazed, "What happened?" Jane asked.

"I forgot that Kurt was coming over to make dinner since Brian's working tonight, and apparently when he got to the apartment and found it empty he thought something had happened to us. So, we have to head back before he had a freak out of epic proportions."

Jane nodded, standing up, while Allie got everything back into the stroller, "Is he always so over-protective."

Allie just shot her a look that said she hadn't seen anything.

The walk back was as silent as the walk there, but this time they hustled towards the apartment. All of the leisurely levity gone from before.

When they reached the front of the apartment, Jane went to hand Rosaline back to Allie, the babies face scrunching up in displeasure, "Here, probably best if I don't come in."

Allie shook her head, refusing to take the baby back, "No, if Kurt has an issue he can suck it up, clearly she likes you more than she likes me."

Jane hesitated but Allie wasn't having any of it, "Seriously Jane, come have dinner with us, I don't think I can handle Poppa bear Kurt by myself."

Reluctantly she found herself agreeing, and next thing she knew they were walking into Allie's and Brian's apartment. Before they even had a chance to take their shoes off Kurt was in their faces, "Where were you?"

"We were at the park Kurt, I told you, nothing happened," Allie replied, pushing him back a few steps, "Now give us some room to breathe and don't wake the baby up. She just fell asleep on Jane on the way up."

Kurt seemed to notice her then. Jane felt herself shrink away from his gaze, but he just asked voice calmer, "how'd you get her to fall asleep like that? She never will for me."

Jane forced herself to shrug, feeling distinctly out of place, "I don't know, she just did-"

"It's Jane's Auntie Magic, now I know how to call at 2am when she won't stop crying and I'm at my wits end," Allie told her with a smile that was only half joking.

Jane only just stopped herself from telling her that she'd probably be up if she did. The nightmares hadn't gone away, and she frequently found herself staring at the clock for most of the night, instead she choked out, "It wouldn't be that different from our craving runs."

Allie laughed at how confused Kurt looked, "Craving runs?"

"That was our code word for when we'd sneak out to get food in the middle of the night when you and Brian were busy."

"You went out at night by yourself?" Kurt asked her, Jane could see what she meant about Poppa Bear Kurt.

"Calm down, Jane always came to pick me up, and if I'm not safe with her I honestly don't think anything could keep me safe," Allie told him confidently, taking Jane's free hand to lead her out of the entrance to the apartment and into the kitchen.

Kurt looked like he wanted to argue but Allie sent him 'the look' and he kept his mouth shut.

"So, what's on the menu tonight?" Allie asked, as she pulled out a chair for Jane and settled in the one besides it.

"I was thinking chicken noodle soup with homemade bread and my famous bread spread," Kurt told her with a smile.

Allie moaned, "God that bread spread was half the reason I kept dating you the second time."

Jane couldn't help herself, "Must be a pretty good spread."

Now it was Allie's turn to look at Kurt, "She's never had the bread spread before? What the fuck Kurt?"

Kurt just shrugged, "Well if you're staying for dinner now's the chance," he didn't look at her as he said it, but at least he didn't completely side step the question.

Jane looked at Allie, who nodded at her, "Yeah, I'll stay, if only to try the legendary bread spread.

So Jane stayed for dinner, and despite the awkward moment it wasn't terrible. Rosaline slept on her chest for the entirety, and that seemed to soften Kurt towards her. At least for the night.

The bread spread, it turns out, was definitely worth it. She could live off that stuff happily if given the chance.

Dinner with her friend, and her beautiful baby felt so much better than eating ice-cream alone in her apartment. Even the ever present tension between her and Kurt couldn't dampen the evening for her.

That night when she got home, she fell asleep to the soft smell of baby and the sound of laughter ringing in her ear. Her bruises all but forgotten in light of evenings events.

She just wished everyday ended full of friends instead of alone. But maybe thing really would change for the better.

Who knows?


	3. Chapter 3

Whoo it's been a LONG time since I've updated this story, but here it is! Hope you guys like it and I promise this isn't the end of this story. There's about one or two more chapter left!

Hope you guys enjoy it and can't wait to hear what you think.

Lots of love,

Fallen

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

She didn't know how it had happened so fast.

She'd been out with Allie and Rosaline for brunch this morning, the first time she'd had a Sunday off in almost six months when she got the call. Shepard had called personally to let her know that today would be the day. As soon as she hung up she'd been on the phone with Naz, an apologetic smile aimed at Allie and a kiss placed on Rosaline's fore-head before she rushed out of the restaurant.

She stole one last peak at the two woman sitting at the table, a reminder that she too had a reason to come back from today.

But it hardly felt like enough.

After all wouldn't they all be better off without her?

"Jane?" She started looking up and focusing in on Kurt's face. She had no idea how long he'd been standing in front of her calling her name.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" She asked.

"I've been calling your name for almost a full minute, Naz wants to know if you're ready to go?" He looked like he wanted to say more but she knew he wouldn't. He'd have to forgive her to truly care.

She nodded, "I'm ready," She replied pushing up off the bench and bending down to check her holsters one last time.

"Aren't you going to put on a vest?"

"You don't think Shepard would suspect if I showed up in full tactical gear?" She asked him, trying to keep from sounding like she thought his question was stupid. Which admittedly it was.

"Guys, Naz says Jane needs to leave now, and Kurt the rest of us our meeting in the briefing room to go over last minute details," Zapata interrupted, hanging half-way into the locker room door.

Jane nodded, moving past Kurt and squeezing past Zapata as she made her way towards the stairs. She'd already taken too long coming here for one last debrief, she couldn't afford any more delays.

Just before she could push open the door to the stairs, Zapata called out to her, "Good luck Jane."

She just pretended she hadn't heard. She couldn't afford any distractions and that would be one. After all it would be the first time Zapata had vocalized anything but hate and distrust to her. Better to forget about it.

By the time she got to the parking lot and got into her car the mission was her only focus. She had a thirty minute drive to the compound, over the last six months she had made herself someone Shepard trusted absolutely.

Though she did her best not to think of the things she'd had to do to achieve that trust. Sadly more often than not she walked away covered in blood. Even the FBI could only circumvent Shepard's plans so many times.

But she'd never been under any delusion about where her choices would take her. The pathway to hell was paved with good intentions. Or so they say.

She would have almost exactly forty-five minutes after her arrival at the compound to secure Roman and Shepard before the FBI, NSA and related affiliates stormed this base and the other three compounds Sandstorm had accumulated throughout the USA.

The closer she got to the compound the stronger the feeling of desolation grew. Somehow she didn't think she was going to get out of this alive.

Without really processing her own actions she felt herself dialing Allies number.

"Jane?" Allie sounded breathless, scared, but still her voice felt comforting. Settling almost.

"Hey Allie," She forced herself to sound calm and unaffected, she didn't want their last conversation to be sad.

"Is everything okay?"

Jane laughed, "It's fine Allie, just another routine day at the office, espionage and machine guns, you know the drill." Their dangerous occupations had become something of an inside joke between them.

Allie didn't sound convinced, always too smart for Jane to keep up with, "Are you sure? Because I haven't heard anything from Kurt about what's going on and I've been calling since you left brunch so abruptly."

"I swear, just a tattoo case with a deadline, Kurt probably doesn't want you worrying about anything. But I had some downtime and just wanted to call to apologize for leaving like that. I really hated leaving without saying goodbye."

Allie still sounded worried but less so than she had in the beginning, "It's okay Jane, I know how the job goes, but I know Rosaline missed our usual walk home. Now she just won't go down for a nap, too spoiled by you putting her down whenever we hang out. I'd kill for some Jane magic right now."

Jane couldn't help but laugh at the desperation clear in her tone, "If you put the phone in the crib I'll sing her a lullaby for you."

"Would you really? I'd honestly owe you my right leg."

"Just the right one? I feel like I might want both of them," Jane joked, happy to take her mind off what awaited her even if just for a few minutes.

"If that's what I have to do, I'll do it, just get this kid to go to sleep." Distantly Jane could hear Allie walking up the stairs and soon the sound of a fussy child greeted her.

"Okay, you're up," Allie whispered, and Jane heard rustling before the sound of Rosaline cleared.

"Hello little one," She whispered into the phone, and almost immediately the fussing sounds quieted, Jane knew she had her attention, "Auntie Jane loves you very much, did you know that?" She asked tears pooling in the corner of her eyes. Though she refused to let them fall.

Rosaline cooed in the phone and Jane wished she had a way to hold that sound close to her heart until the very end. She wondered if Rosaline would ever know who she'd been or if her name would mean nothing to the girl in the years to come.

She shook her head, "Alright little one, it's time to go to sleep before your mother decides you aren't cute enough for all the headaches you cause."

With that she wracked her brain and picked one of the various nursery songs she'd learned over the last months to sing for Rosaline.

"Танцы медведи, окрашенные крылья

Вещи, которые я почти помню

И песню кто-то поет

Однажды в декабре

Кто-то держит меня безопасным и теплым

Лошади гарцевать через серебряный шторм

Цифры, танцы грациозно

По всей моей памяти

(Пение Ммм и

aaaahhh с мелодией)

Кто-то держит меня безопасным и теплым

Лошади гарцевать через серебряный шторм

Цифры, танцы грациозно

По всей моей памяти

Далеко, давно

Светящийся тусклым, как уголек

Вещи мое сердце обыкновение знать

Вещи он жаждет, чтобы помнить

Кто-то держит меня безопасным и теплым

Лошади гарцевать через серебряный шторм

Цифры, танцы грациозно

По всей моей памяти

Далеко, давно

Светящийся тусклым, как уголек

Вещи мое сердце обыкновение знать

Вещи он жаждет, чтобы помнить

И песню кто-то поет

Однажды в декабре"

She had no idea why but the Russian song came out of her and by the end she felt so empty. But she continued singing the song two or three more times before Allie picked back up the phone.

"I have no idea how you do it but she'd out like a light. Thank you Jane, you're a life-saver, what was that song by the way? Russian right?"

"Yes, it was just a song I heard somewhere, but Allie I have to go, tell Rosaline I love her okay. I'll see you guys soon," She hated lying to her best friend but what choice did she have? Nothing Allie could possibly do would change her fate. She'd known from the minute she tasted sunshine again after escaping from the CIA that she'd been operating on borrowed time.

If anything she was grateful to have gotten the chance to get to know Allie and Rosaline, to be a part of a life she'd never have gotten otherwise. Maybe with her death the team might be able to move on and move past the anger they'd held since her return.

Ten minutes later she got out of the car and met Roman. Not long after she found herself in a room with Shepard, Roman, and three other people from the organization that she vaguely recognized.

Two of the men approached her right away, smiled on their faces, and she forced herself to smile back. Her mind tickled but she couldn't produce any memories of their faces or their names.

She knew she had forty minutes to place the micro-explosives Naz had equipped her with in strategic locations meant to maximize the damage and cause the most chaos possible. Naz had promised that the explosives would release something that amounted to a knockout gas into the air upon explosion.

She'd do her best to give them as much of an advantage as possible.

Twenty minutes into the meeting she asked to go to the bathroom. Shepard granted her permission, and gave Jane basic directions. It had been two months since Shepard had demanded Jane have an escort follow her around.

She gave herself exactly 4 minutes and 15 seconds to plant the ten devices around before she returned to the room. If she took longer than five minutes Shepard would question her but she had made sure to remain just unfamiliar enough with the base that they wouldn't question her taking a little longer than expected to get there and back.

By the time she returned she could tell that everyone was getting ready to disperse to their various positions.

"Jane, Roman and you are going to be with me," Shepard told her as she walked in, her piercing green eyes fixated on her face.

Jane nodded, letting her Remi mask slide into place, "The rest of you are dismissed, I have much to discuss with my children before it begins. Remember today is the day we've worked for these past ten years. No mistakes can be made."

The other three nodded, all of them looking excited and nervous. She imagined everyone in the complex felt that way.

Another five minutes past with final conversation before she was left alone in the room with her mother and her brother.

She had a little under ten minutes before backup arrived.

She tried not to think about what would happen when Shepard and Roman finally realized she'd been a traitor all along. She just hoped to be able to neutralize Roman before she had to deal with Shepard. She'd cornered Kurt months ago and made him promise to spare Roman if he made it out of this alive.

Though she supposed she'd never know if he kept his word.

"Remi, are you listening?"

"Yes, sorry, I just can't believe the day's finally come," She replied, spreading a bland smile across her face. Best to mask her distraction as anticipation.

"I know, my child, finally you can rip off your sheep's clothing and reveal the wolf to the world. Soon the whole world will know our names, and all our oppressors will fall to their knees." It was all too easy to see how they'd all fallen under Shepard's spell. She always seemed to find the perfect balance between fanaticism and charisma. Even now the crazed light in her eyes seemed more like passion than true insanity.

Jane often wondered how different this all might have been if they'd never decided to send her into the FBI. She still wondered why Shepard had made that decision, yes it helped them take out Mayfair but what else had it truly accomplished?

Seven minutes and 42 seconds to go.

Then the building shook.

"What was that?" Shepard shouted, moving towards the row of computer against the far wall. With a few clicks of the keyboard the monitors filled with the security camera footage across the base.

Her bombs had all gone off early, and from the outer parameter she saw the familiar signia's of the FBI, NSA, and the CIA plastered across various vehicles racing up the road.

She hadn't gotten her timing wrong. She knew she hadn't.

Naz had promised her forty-five minutes.

Naz.

She'd been betrayed. In the end Naz had signed her death warrant.

In unison her mother and brother turned to her, and she knew it would do no good to pretend she had no part in what had happened. Even now the communications line burst into life, reports of injuries, and death coming in steadily from around the compound. People sounded confused, and no one yet rallied against the threat outside their gate.

Jane just knew she could allow either of them to get at the walkie laying on the table behind them. As it stood only the three of them knew that her reinforcements had arrived and were getting ready to storm the metaphorical castle.

"All this time?" Shepard asked, eyes narrowed, and face furious. Roman said nothing only stared at her looking betrayed and confused. She knew anger would soon spark in the kindle left by her betrayal.

"All this time," She replied honestly.

"You betrayed us, betrayed your family, for them? How could you?" Roman had found his fire. She knew he would.

"You wiped my memories, and I found another family. One who didn't want me to kill and bleed for them with only the barest clue of what I'd gotten myself into," She told him, hoping her eyes communicated how much she hadn't wanted it to come to this. Shepard she hoped burned in hell for all she'd done but Roman, she loved him like she loved no other. She'd never wanted to hurt him but she knew he could never be himself unless he was free from Shepard's poisoness love.

"I'm sorry it had to come to this, but it's over," Jane told them, "Just surrender, please."

She knew before she said the words that Shepard would fight to her death. But she never expected her to pull out a gun and shoot Roman in the stomach.

Jane leapt forward, tackling Shepard to the ground, distantly she heard the sounds of gun fire, and the building shook as the agencies breached it. But she knew it would be sometime before they reached here.

She had to end this now.

She managed to wrestle the gun from Shepard's hands and toss it behind her. But before she could do anything else Shepard's fist caught her chin and the fight began anew.

She had no idea how long they wrestled, Shepard managed to get her feet free and kicked Jane off of her. Then they traded blows, but Jane's heart wasn't in it. She kept looking at Roman, who leaned against the wall behind them, hands trying to staunch the flow of blood from his abdomen.

Each look cost her.

Minutes had passed and they both looked worse for wear. She knew at least four of her ribs were broken, her left wrist was sprained, and her face probably looked like she'd gone three rounds with a meat grinder but she couldn't give up.

She rushed Shepard one last time. She managed to get her on the ground, her hands coming up to grasp her mother's throat.

"I never wanted it to come to this," She choked, surprised to feel tears flowing down her cheek, "I never wanted this."

Shepard fought, but Jane had the upper hand and her hands tightened. She just had to knock her out. She didn't want to kill her.

But apparently Shepard had other ideas.

Just when she thought Shepard had given up she felt pain blossom in her side. She stared down in shock as she realized Shepard had stabbed her.

Before she could react she felt the knife pull out, and push in again. Her fingers loosened around Shepard's throat, and the blade pulled out to kiss her again.

She couldn't go out like this. She couldn't.

She released Shepard's neck, as the blade left her again and entered her, this time Shepard pushed it deep and twisted.

Jane could only look down in shock, falling back onto her haunches unable to break the gaze of her adoptive mother.

She felt the knife pull out one last time, but before Shepard could plunge it in again, a gun went off beside her, and she blinked down at the hole in her adoptive mother's forehead as the knife fell to the ground beside them with a ringing clank.

"Jane?" Someone called her name but she could only stare down. Her hands going down to touch her abdomen, when she managed to pull them up they were covered in blood. But she felt the pain so distantly she almost didn't believe she'd just been stabbed.

"Jane?" This time a hand shook her shoulder, though it felt weak, and she looked up. Roman's face hovered next to hers. Though he looked ashen and weak.

"Roman?" She whispered.

"We have to find your team," Roman told her, the hand not on her shoulder still pressed firmly against the hole in his abdomen. But somehow it seemed like the wound wasn't as bad as she'd initially thought.

"I can't," She whispered, and she knew it to be true as soon as the words left her mouth. Already blood loss had made her weak, her feet and her hands felt cold and numb. She knew death had finally found her.

Roman seemed to understand, and his hand fisted in her jacket, pulling her off Shepard and across the floor till they reached the wall. Then he collapsed besides her and pulled her into his arms.

"I'm sorry," She whispered, though her voice felt weak, "I never lied about how I felt about you. Finding you is the only thing I don't regret."

She felt him smile against her hair, "I know Jane, and you were always too good for this place."

"No, we were always too good for this place," She responded, fighting the heaviness of her lids. The gunfire around them sounded closer and closer.

"Do you ever wonder where we'd be if we'd never stopped being Ian and Alice?" She asked

"I bet we'd both be married, with kids, and nice houses on the beach," Ian responded, but his voice sounded as faint as her own.

"I always liked the beach," Her voice barely more than a mumble.

"I know," He replied.

Her eye lids felt like they weighed a thousand pounds. She didn't really remember why she wanted to keep them open.

Just as they slide shut she saw the door burst open, and her team flooded the room. But she could bring herself to respond to their calls.

The last thing she saw was Kurt's face and her last thought was on a tiny baby sleeping so far from this place.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

For anyone curious the song is a Russian translation of the song Once upon a December from Anastasia.

Sorry to leave you guys on such a moment but I promise at least one more chapter to come.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys!

Fair warning, this one is a rough one! But I hope you like it!

Bring tissues! I needed them a few times writing this, so you guys might need them reading it!

Thank you as always for the reviews, follows, and favorites! I hope you'll tell me what you think about this one!

Love,

Fallen

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

It had only been an hour, maybe two since Jane called when Allie's phone rang, Kurt's name flashing on the screen. A dread so sudden and heavy filled her to the brim. Somehow she knew that whatever he had to say would destroy her.

Still she forced herself to answer, forced her mouth to make words and her voice to come out sounding something other than choked, "Kurt? What's up?"

She heard her doom in his voice, "Allie, something's happened—"

He seemed to choke on his words and so she asked the question that had haunted her since this morning, "It's Jane, isn't it?"

She should have never let Jane reassure her, she should have trusted her gut, called until Kurt answered and told her the truth. So many things she should have done.

Kurt's voice cracked when he finally replied, "Yes, she's been hurt…it's not looking good. They flew her to the nearest hospital along with Roman, as soon as we can leave the team's going to be there but we-I need you go be with her. She needs us."

Allie knew the words were coming but still they felt like a knife to her heart. In a little over a year Jane had become her rock, the person she could depend on to be there no matter what. Her best friend.

It took all her strength not to collapse to the ground and just cry.

But she knew she couldn't, her friend, her best friend, needed her to be strong in the moment where Jane had to be weak. So she forced herself to stand tall, forced herself to answer with a clear voice, "What hospital is she going to? I'll head there now."

She hung up as soon as Kurt gave her the information and then ran upstairs to grab Rosaline. As if she knew, her baby lay wide awake in her crib, quiet, and remained so as they raced to get out of the house. The car ride to the hospital silent, as Allie ignored the tears doing their best to cloud her vision as they fell and Rosaline quietly observed their surroundings from the back seat.

She felt the whole way as if someone had shoved their fist into her throat. An endless feeling of choking and despair gripped her only tightening as she got closer to the hospital.

What if Jane died and she hadn't been there to say goodbye? Hadn't been there to give her a hand to hold?

Or what if she'd lived and woke up to an empty room? Assuming that they'd abandoned her now that the mission ended. A fear Jane had never vocalized but that Allie knew plagued her.

By the time she'd pulled into the hospital parking lot, she felt as if her brain had run her through every scenario that could possibly have occurred. None of which were good.

She had hardly gotten the car into park before she'd burst out, grabbing Rosaline as carefully as she could in her current state and racing into the hospital. She scared the crap out of the women at the desk but she didn't care she needed to know where Jane was.

"There was an FBI agent flown into this hospital, Jane Doe, what's her status?"

The woman looked flustered, but when Allie flashed her badge she seemed to unfreeze. After what felt like hours, the woman looked up and relayed that Jane had been taken into emergency surgery and they had no updated. Then she informed her she could go to the fourth floor and wait in the waiting room for the surgery to be done.

Allie almost walked away, but then she remembered that Kurt had said Roman, Jane's brother had also been airlifted to this hospital. So she asked about him as well, and was given almost the same answer.

Though she'd never met the man, she knew from Jane's brief mentions that she loved him, and so Allie loved him too.

She texted Kurt what she'd found out when she got on the elevator, she also sent Michael a message seeing if he'd come get Rosaline from her when he got off work, because she wouldn't leave the waiting room until she knew.

She doubted she'd leave the lobby for some time after either, because if Jane died. If Jane died, she'd be beside herself.

But if she lived, Allie wouldn't leave her side until she got a chance to ream her out for doing this to her.

Kurt responded but Allie didn't even process what he'd said, instead when the elevator let out on the floor she'd been directed to she found the waiting room and collapsed into a chair, hugging Rosaline to her chest.

Somehow her quiet calm presence kept this nightmare from suffocating her entirely.

She didn't know how many hours passed as she sat in that lobby watching the doors leading to the surgical rooms, but she knew it had been a few. Each time the doors opened her heart started to race again, her breath leaving her for a moment but each time they called a different name.

She didn't know if it would be a good thing that the surgeries were taking this long or a bad thing. At least if they were still in there she had to be alive. Right?

But at some point Michael came, bringing with him food she couldn't stomach and water she forced herself to drink. He gave her a hug, his arms wrapping her up in safety and comfort. It took all she had not to breakdown right there, but still the tears that hadn't stopped flowed just a little faster down her cheeks.

When he let her go she had to look away to hide how much she wanted to crawl back into his embrace. To make this nightmare go away for a little. Instead she forced herself to smile at him, and hand him Rosaline, who'd fallen asleep in her car seat some time ago.

Then she sat alone, her silent vigil darker without her daughter or Michael with her.

Still no word, she'd been to the desk twice to ask for updates, but all they would tell her is that they were still in surgery. Soon she'd get up for a third time but for now she couldn't bring herself to get up. Too afraid that she'd find out something bad.

The doors opened again, her heart fluttering in response, and a tired woman in scrubs came out into the lobby, "Roman, Roman Doe?" She called into the lobby.

Allie felt her heart stop, as she shot out of the chair, "I'm here, I'm Allie Knight, I'm the emergency contact." She didn't know how she spoke the words but she did. Somehow she did.

The woman looked at her for a moment, her face lined with exhaustion before she spoke again, "It wasn't easy but he's going to pull through. Thankfully the bullet was a through and through, and it managed not to nick any organs or major blood vessels. Still he lost a lot of blood, and we almost lost him on the table. He'll have to be in the ICU under observation for the next 24 hours, but I'm optimistic about his recovery given him physical status. He'll be in post-op observation for an hour but then someone will come out and give you his room information so you can see if him if you like."

Allie just nodded, the tears still streaming down her face were happy for a few seconds, because he knew whatever happened Jane would have wanted her brother to survive. She knew that no matter what happened she'd just adopted a brother, and she wouldn't let anything happen to him.

Jane would want that.

Jane. Oh Jane.

"Thank you," Allie whispered, wrapping her hands around herself in a mockery of a hug, "Thank you. Do you have any word on his sister?"

The surgeon shook her head, "No I'm sorry, but I'm sure they'll update you soon. But I have to go I have another surgery, I hope they both it make it."

With that the woman disappeared and Allie resumed her vigil.

She didn't know how she still had tears but she continued to cry. Thankfully Michael had left her three water bottle, two of which she'd downed at some point, and she'd now worked her way through most of the third.

It may have been minutes or hours later when her vigil was again interrupted.

Her eyes were torn from the door at the sound of heavy boots pounding the linoleum. She would recognize standard issue boots anywhere. Let alone that four people were running towards them.

She made eye contact with Kurt, and immediately the tears started coursing faster down her cheeks.

He stopped dead, and she saw in his face what he thought.

She couldn't speak but she shook her head, pointing to the door and the empty seats beside her. Kurt and his team found their seats around her. Allie noticed Naz's absence but didn't comment on it.

At first no one spoke, but the Patterson, the person Jane might have been closest to finally asked, "Have they told you anything?"

Allie had to look to the ceiling, praying her voice wouldn't fail her, "No, all they've said in the last five hours is that she's in surgery. Roman is out of surgery though, and they think he's going to be okay."

She heard Patterson cry, but she couldn't bring herself to look. Zapata sounded like she'd joined Patterson, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Reade comforting her. Kurt hadn't made a sound.

For some reason it made her want to scream. She'd seen the way they treated Jane. And despite Jane's best efforts to brush it off she didn't think it had changed much. Outside of Patterson none of them deserved Jane. Deserved her endless love and compassion, her strength, her will, her general Jane-ness.

She'd given it all for them. She may very well have died for them.

What had they done for her? Treat her like shit.

She closed her eyes against her own thoughts, as if she could stop the toxic flow. She wanted to blame them, she wanted to yell to scream at the unfairness that was life. She shouldn't be sitting here, waiting to find out if her best friend had died all alone far away.

Jane and she should have met at school or at the beach or a concert or a bar. They should be laughing right now over dinner, a bottle of wine opened on the counter and a silly movie playing in the background.

They should have protected her better. They never should have let her go in the first place. Hadn't they seen how close to the edge she'd been? How close to the edge she still was? They should have helped her and instead they pushed her closer and closer to the edge.

She didn't realized she'd been saying that out loud, until Zapata choking on her own tears cried back, "Don't you think we know? We've been the worst sort of people and now we may never have a chance to tell her how much we messed up."

Allie just shook her head, "It won't matter, she'll love you and forgive you because that's what she does." Allie couldn't even speak to the possibly that Jane wouldn't make it, couldn't verbalize the possibility her mind wouldn't let her forget least it make it true.

"Jane's always been the best of us, sometimes we just couldn't see it," Patterson said to the room, Allie could see the tears on her cheeks but her voice sounded calm. She couldn't tell if the other woman had settled into shock or denial or if she had forced herself to stop thinking of the possibility of Jane's death.

Either way Allie felt jealous of her, because her mind did nothing but torture her. Images of Jane bleeding out, reaching out for someone but finding nothing circling her like a shark.

"What even happened?" Allie asked them, realizing that she had no idea how Jane had even been hurt.

"We don't know everything, but we believe that Shepard turned on Jane and Roman. Shooting him and then engaging Jane, at some point she stabbed Jane multiple times before being shot in the head. We found them laying in a room with her body a little over ten minutes after our Raid on the compound began. At that point Jane was unconscious, and Roman only just clinging to awareness," Reade answered her this time, his story factual but she could see past his exterior. His own fear plainly visible in his eyes, and the way his hands shook against Tasha's arm.

Allie had started to question them further when the door opened again. She was on her feet before the doctors called Jane's name.

The man actually took a step back when she sprinted across the room to his side, "Please, is she okay?" Even as she spoke her words her heart lodged itself in her throat and stomach sank to her feet. She didn't even know if she'd be able to handle anything he said.

The man looked like he'd been in a war zone, but eight hours of surgery would do that to a person. He started to shake his head, and she felt the ground slipping away from her as she fell to her knees.

"Please, please, no," She begged him even as her tears burned down her cheeks, "Please, please."

She felt his hand coming to her should, "Ma'am please, Mrs. Doe made it out of surgery."

Allie looked up at him, hope filling her for a second before his next words threatened to snuff it out, "But she's in critical condition, we lost her four times on the table, and the next twenty four hours are crucial. If she makes it through the night we can reevaluate, but until that time I can take one of you back to sit with her."

She had forgotten about the others, but from the sounds of it they too were trying and failing to come to grips with what they'd just heard.

"I'll go," She told him, even as her legs refused to agree to let her off the floor. She didn't care in that moment if Kurt or any of the others wanted to see her. She'd earned her place by Jane's side, and if something happened she would be the one there to hold her hand.

She couldn't be there to protect her when her own mother tried to end her life, but she would be there now.

The surgeon spoke to the others but Allie no longer heard their words. Instead she concentrated on standing, and then when the doctor started to move she followed. She heard her name but she couldn't respond.

Her brain had one focus, Jane, everything else had become white noise.

She didn't know how long they walked but by the time they reached Jane's room her legs felt as if they wouldn't carry her any further.

The doctor said some more words, and Allie nodded her head but she didn't pay attention to what he'd said.

She just stood frozen in front of the door to Jane's room. Somehow she felt, standing outside of the room, fear crash over her like a tidal wave.

Just ten steps away behind a curtain her best friend lay on a bed, fighting for her life, and for the life of her she couldn't make herself take those ten steps.

She stood there for some time before a gentle hand touched her elbow, and the world came back into focus.

"Ma'am?" Allie followed the voice and found herself staring into the kind face of a nurse who looked concerned for her, "Are you alright?"

Allie found herself shaking her head, "No, I don't think I am," her voice came out barely above a whisper, and a fresh batch of tears started to roll down her face, "I have to go in there but I can't."

The woman nodded, as if she understood exactly what Allie meant, "Would it help if I walked with you?"

This time Allie nodded, and she found that it did help. The woman's hand felt like it anchored her as they crossed the threshold into Jane's room, and when the nurse pulled back the curtain it took all her power not to collapse again. Instead she remained upright until the nurse guided her into the chair beside Jane's bed.

"Oh Jane," She whispered, reaching out to gingerly take on of her friends hands, the nurse all but forgotten in the face of what lay before her.

Jane looked like someone fighting for their life, bruises marring her face making her almost unrecognizable to Allie. Bruising peaked out from beneath the hospital gown and out of the gauze that seemed to cover every inch of her friend. Even her fingers looked beaten, half of them wrapped, the others swollen or bruised, the knuckles busted and one of her wrists wrapped.

She'd never seen her friend look so destroyed.

She truly hadn't thought her heart could break any harder after she got the call. But in this moment here, she felt it shatter, staring at the strongest woman she'd ever known when she looked so broken. How could she be anything but broken too?

"Oh Jane, I'm so so sorry," She whispered, letting her head fall down beside their interlocked hands on the mattress, "Why didn't you tell me? Why? I would have been there, I would have protected you." Her voice broke as more tears found their way down her face.

"Why do you always have to shoulder it all by yourself? You are supposed to lean on me too, don't you know that?" Allie asked, because she didn't think the other woman did.

"I know you probably can't hear me, but Jane I need you to wake up. I need you to pull through this, because I can't do this without you. Roman can't do this without you. Rosaline—Rosaline, she can't grow up without you. We love you, we love you so much, I love you so much, please come back to us," As those words left her mouth she knew she wouldn't be able to say more without breaking down.

Instead she stared at her friend, this time taking in the paleness of her skin, the stark purple bruising beneath her eyes, and how thin Jane's hand felt in her.

When she made it through Allie was going to stop being nice about it and make Jane get help. She'd known how bad Jane had been, how bad she still was, but now she needed to do more to fix it than be there.

So she lay beside her friend through the night, even when her heart tried to stop, and she had to stand in the corner breaking down as they brought her back. Even when her pulse sky rocketed, and she cried out in her sleep, nightmares reaching her even here.

Even when the night seemed never ending, Allie lay beside her, watching her chest move and waiting for the next time God tried to take her friend from her.

But somehow they made it through the night.

Somehow they made it.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys,

Hope you enjoy this update! One more chapter and this is all done! Thank you for joining me on this crazy adventure! You get are the absolute best! I love each and every one of you to the very bottom of my heart!

Love,

Fallen

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

It had been seventy two hours since Allie had first stepped foot in the hospital. Seventy two hours since she got the news that her best friend might not make it through the night.

She had.

But still seventy two hours later her best friend hadn't opened her eyes. With each passing hours the doctors got more and more concerned.

So did she.

But still she had faith, Jane had made it through the impossible so many time's Allie had started to believe she might be half cat. She knew, despite what her friend had gone through that she would come back to them. That fact didn't make the waiting any easier though.

She'd had a lot of time to think in those seventy two hours, to wonder she would say when her friend finally woke up. To think about what she would do to help her friend get back on her feet. To help Jane become Jane again.

In truth she hadn't gotten very far.

After the first night, where Jane had coded in front of her, Jane coded twice more the following day, but she had been relatively stable since then. It had been 36 hours in, after her second code of the day that Kurt had finally bullied her into going home. Assuring her that the team would watch Jane while she was gone.

In truth the eight hours she'd spent at home at had been even worse, because she spent the entire time watching her phone terrified that the next buzz would be the call. The call telling her that Jane's heart had stopped again and it hadn't restarted this time. Though holding her baby tight to her chest, and having Mike's arms around her lessened the anguish she'd wanted nothing more than to go back to the hospital.

She'd never been so grateful to have a man in her life who understood her, and understood what she needed. Who wouldn't judge her or hate her for spending days in the hospital with a friend. In fact, he and his family had made it possible. Bringing Rosaline to her periodically throughout the day, bringing fresh clothing and food. They were a god sent.

But it had been when she'd come back to the hospital that day, that she realized she hadn't thought to check on Roman since she got the news that he'd survived his surgery. She could remember the taste of guilt, bitter and dark on her tongue. She'd rerouted herself then, finding the information desk and getting his room information for a second time.

When she got there guilt battered at her broken heart even harder.

Roman lay handcuffed to his bed, looking broken, staring at the wall as if it would hold all the answers. When she'd entered the room he'd barely looked at her, until she mentioned Jane's name, and then he'd looked at her eyes so full of sadness she could barely stand to look at him. He'd begged her then, pleading with her, to tell him if she'd survived. To tell him anything about his sister.

In that moment she'd wanted to hunt down Kurt, and his entire team. None of them had thought to tell Roman that his sister had made it through her surgery or to allow him to see her. Instead, despite the bargain Jane had secured for him they'd cuffed him like an animal and left him here in the dark.

To say that she raised hell would be an understatement.

It took her under an hour to have him moved to Jane's room, and after that they settled into a quiet friendship. Especially when Roman realized she was _that_ Allie. Apparently Jane had spoken briefly about her. Which to Roman meant that she was second only to Jane in his eyes.

She did her best to live up to the hype.

But in truth she felt so heartbroken herself she felt as if she failed him. Looking at him, and knowing everything he had been through, everything he'd had to deal with before any of this, let alone now made her heart bleed even more. Sometimes it surprised her she hadn't bled out in the night.

Still she tried to bond with him, showing him pictures of Jane and Rosaline. Telling stories of Jane's magic touch with Rosaline, which seemed to please him even if his smiles had a razor sharp edge of sadness to them.

She never asked though. Roman seemed like the type who didn't open up easily. So instead she allowed him time to say anything before she began another store. Most times he stayed silent but every once in a while he'd surprise her with a story from Jane and his childhood. She'd surprised herself by bursting into hysterical laughter when he regaled her with a story of Jane brow beating a complete stranger into buying them ice-cream.

But then the laughter had become tears.

Roman surprised her then by reaching out, and carefully, oh so carefully, grasping her hand. All she could do was squeeze it as she cried for her friend, who lay in the bed beside him motionless. It wasn't until later she realized he'd been crying with her, so quietly she wouldn't have known if not for the tear stains dried to his face.

But now they sat in silence as the doctor retreated from the room, having been in to check on Jane's status. Though he reassured them that the fact that Jane hadn't gotten worse was as good a sign as anything, but neither of them were reassured. Until she opened her eyes and gave them one of the world weary smiles she'd perfected how could they?

"It was always so funny, even when we were children people would look at the two of us and assumed me to be the protector. People always seem to underestimate her," Roman let out a little laugh, but it came out bitter and sad, "She always liked that, said it gave her an edge. But it didn't matter because people quickly discovered that she protected me. Savagely, viciously, brutally, it didn't matter what it took she did it in order to keep me safe. Even though she couldn't always spare me pain, she did her best to take the brute of the darkness."

Allie watched him as she spoke, and she knew she needed to let him get this out.

"I let her, because deep down I was weak. But she always thought I was the strong one, she said she wanted to protect the goodness that lay deep inside me. When she left, I made myself into what I thought I needed to be to be strong. I let Shepard carve me into a pawn, because Rem-Jane left me. Abandon me and I didn't know how to be without her."

HE stopped for a second, swallowing a few times before he continued, "But then she came back. At first I wanted to hate Jane, hate this person who had taken over my sister's body. Then I realized Jane was what Remi would have been, a better version of what had already been there. And, even this new version had the same hard wired instincts. She protected me, tried to steer me back on track, sacrificing herself to keep me safe."

Tears started to slide down his cheeks, though his facial expression next changed, and he never blinked. Just kept looking at Jane as if he could will her to wake up, to look at him, and for one heart breaking moment she prayed it would work.

"Then, for the first time my sister needed me to protect her, and I tried," His eyes swung wildly to hers, begging for something, "I tried, but I failed. I couldn't shoot Shepard, and by the time I did it was too late. If I had just done my job as her brother, she wouldn't be here in the hospital bed right now."

She wished she could give him the absolution he sought, because that had to be what his eyes begged her to offer him. But she knew her words would only be empty reassurances.

But she offered them anyway, "Roman, you didn't fail her, if you hadn't of been there she would be dead. And we'd be having this conversation besides her grave instead of in this room. She loves you, and nothing you did will ever change that."

She mimed his earlier gesture, and reached across the bed to gently grasp his hand. She couldn't have been more surprised when he immediately wrapped his hand around hers, squeezing tight as if he could anchor himself to this world by her touch alone.

His eyes roamed back to Jane's face, sadness marring his face as he spoke again, "I'll be all alone if she dies. She's all I have left in this world. Maybe the only thing I really had. "

Allie could have kicked herself for not thinking of this earlier, but hindsight is always 20/20, "Roman, Jane is like a sister to me, and in the months I've known her the only time's I see her truly happy are when she talks about you. She loves you so much, and because of that I grew to love you. No matter what happens to Jane, whether she wakes up or not, I'm not leaving. She would want us to stick together."

In her heart she truly believed that. She also understood what Roman meant, Jane had come into her a life at a time she needed a friend more than ever. She'd made her feel less alone in the world. Stronger, and better just for being in her presence.

She could only imagine how Roman must have felt to go so long without her. Because just these past three days had left her feeling empty, and desolate. As if her life suddenly had one giant hole in the middle of it.

"Jane's family, and that makes you family," She told him again, when he looked at her as if he hadn't quite taken her words in, "I want to get to know you as more than stories. I want a chance to hear about Jane as a child, and to see her alive in a world where she can spend time with you without looking over her shoulder. Jane may be what brought us together, but we can chose to stay together."

Roman looked at her for a few more seconds, before the smallest ghost of a smile touched his lips, "I'd like that."

She gave him a small smile, but their talk had dredge up memories. She lost herself in them, memories of sitting at the park with Jane, or sipping coffee, watching Rosaline squirm on the floor together. The way Jane's face would light up every time she mentioned her brother, eager to share a memory she'd recovered, or some factoid about him. So proud of herself each time she discovered something new to share.

It seemed as if both of them had retreated into their memories, and given that this had been the most Roman had spoken to her since their first meeting she imagined he'd talked himself out.

So you can imagine her surprise when he spoke again only a few minutes later, "Do you think my sisters going to wake up?"

She hadn't allowed herself to contemplate any other possibility, not since she'd walked into Jane's room almost two days ago, "Yes, I do. Jane is the strongest person I know, and after eve-everything she's been through she's not going to quit now."

This time she squeezed his hand, drawing reassurance from the strength of his grip, "She's a fighter, and she's not done, not yet."

She had to believe that, she'd watch Jane's heart stop four times since entering this room, and she'd watched it beat again four times. She'd watched her seize, tremor, cry out and then go so still you almost wished she'd scream again. But every time Jane had come back. Every time she'd got to watch the miracle of her heart beat returning to normal, her limbs quieting from what felt like hours of shaking, and her face smooth out as the meds tore her from her terrors.

Not once had Jane given up.

Not once.

"Thank you," Roman whispered, his eyes now gazing across at Jane's face, taking her beaten face, and shrunken skin. But she couldn't mistake the love in his eyes for anything else, "Thank you for being here for her." The when-I-couldn't went unspoken but not misunderstood.

She could only clutch his fingers harder in response.

She only released his hand when her phone started to go off in her purse, and she had to stand to dig through her purse. She hadn't heard from Mike in a while, and so she imagined that it would be him calling to check on her. Again she thanked God that he loved Jane as much as she did, and understood that Allie needed to be here with her. She also thanked the gods that his family had been so supportive, helping him to watch Rosaline while she stayed in the hospital.

"Hello?" She asked as she answered without even checking the caller ID.

"Allie, its Kurt."

She forced herself to take a deep breath, "What do you need?" Even though she didn't want to, she still blamed him, and his team for allowing this to happen to Jane. Couldn't help but resent them for their treatment of her friend. Then for their sudden change of heart.

"I just wanted to call to get an update on Jane, we're all going to stop by when we get off work. Has anything changed?" As quickly as the anger came, it disappeared as she listened to how hopeful he sounded, and knew that she would have to give him the same news she'd given him every time he called or visited.

She shook her head as she spoke, "No, she still hasn't woke up, but the doctors are hopeful. As you know from your last visit, she hasn't coded in almost twenty hours. Though she'd not showing remarkable improvement, the doctors are saying this can only be good news."

She heard his small intake of breath at the beginning, and the way his breath seemed to come faster, "Are they doing anything to help her?"

"They're doing everything they can Kurt, you know that, but there isn't much they can do right now. Not unless they do another surgery, but they say in her current condition to operate again would risk the little progress we've made." The words tasted bitter as they left her mouth, and she wished with all her heart she had something more to tell him.

"Okay," his voice sounded drawn, but she heard him piecing himself together, "I'll let the team know, they've been desperate for news. I've had to stop Patterson from hacking into the hospital records every thirty minutes or so."

He tried for levity, but she could hear the heartbreak, she doubted the team fared much better. Even if she still hadn't forgiven them, she wouldn't wish what they were all feeling on her worst enemy, "Is there anything else?"

"Yes, I thought Jane and Roman would like to know that they are officially cleared of any wrongdoing and any possible charges. Naz is working now to finalize the paperwork granting them their identities, and thanks to Jane's monumental effort to bring down sandstorm they'll both be receiving handsome rewards. The agencies grand attempt to make up for everything that happened to her under our jurisdiction."

She smiled, a real smile, for the first time in what felt like forever, "That is good news, I'll tell Roman as soon as I hang up. Thanks for the call Kurt, and text me when you'll are on your way, okay?"  
He gave her an affirmative and the call disconnected.

Roman looked at her questioningly, "Well, it looks like you're a free man Roman, your sister signed an agreement for _both_ of your freedom contingent on her helping takedown sandstorm. You'll have your legal rights back as a citizen, and from the sounds of it a pretty hefty sum to compensate for her work."

"None of it means anything unless she wakes up," He told her, eyes drifting back to her sisters form, "Even from this bed she's looking out for me. But sometimes I don't think she understands that without her I'm not a good person. She's my compass."

It was the most she'd ever heard him speak, but she thought she could understand, "Jane does that, she bring out the best in all of us, makes us want to be better people just by being in her presence."

He looked like he might say more, when Jane's heart monitor began to beep, a gentle alert that her heart rate had started to rise. Dread filled her immediately, as she turned to look at her friend, only to notice her eyebrows furrowing and her fingers twitching.

She nearly leapt out of her seat when she saw Jane's eyes beginning to flutter. Instead she pulled herself closer, gently taking her friends hand, "Jane?"

She heard what sounded like Roman ripping the wires of his chest, and then the sound of footsteps as he drew closer to her. The monitor he'd been attached to begin to beep wildly but she ignored it.

Instead she stared at her friend as her eyes continued to flutter. Her heart felt as if it'd leapt up her throat to choke her as she stared down at her friend silently begging her to open her eyes.

Still nothing could have prepared her for the moment when Jane's eyes truly opened, she blinked as if she were trying to focus, and then her eyes slowly roamed the room until they met Allie's and Roman's.

"Jane?" She whispered, eyes water as she stared down at the miracle in front of her. "Jane, it's Allie, I'm here."

"We're here," Roman chimed in from her side.

Jane looked as if she wanted to say something, but all that came out was a quite choking sound. The nurses had warned them that Jane's throat would be incredibly dry when she woke up. That she might not be able to speak at first.

Jane still looked utterly confused, her eyes seeing them but not really seeming to be able to process what lay in front of her.

Before Allie could do anything more, one of the nurses, Linda she believed bustled into the room looking harried. Clearly here to check on the alarm that had been blaring in the background since Roman leapt out of bed.

"What is going on here?" Linda demanded, "Why are you out of bed, Mr. Roman?"

As she spoke, she took in the room, and Allie felt a smile rising to her lips when Linda finally took the fact that Jane lay awake in bed. Instantly the alarm seemed to fade to the background for her too, as a smile burst across her lips.

"Mrs. Doe, you're awake! I've never been so happy to see two beautiful green eyes looking at me, I need to go get the doctor."

The next few hours passed in a blur, as a variety of staff members came in and out of the room to assess Jane's condition, she was taken for imaging and testing. But finally she was brought back to the room looking utterly exhausted but beautifully awake.

"Oh Jane," Allie whispered as she took her friends bruises hand gently in her own, "We were so worried." Roman had taken up a place on the other side of Jane's bed, refusing to leave her side from the moment she'd woken up. The nurse's had taken pity on him and arranged it so that he could be out of bed to sit next to her.

At some point Jane had been cleared for a liquid diet, and been given water because her friend croaked out, "What happened?"

Allie and Roman worked together to fill in all the details of the raid, what had happened after, and what had happened to her in the hospital.

But in truth both of them were basking in Jane's presence. The high lasted even as Jane's eyes drifted shut and her breathing evened out as she fell into a deep sleep clearly exhausted from the craziness of the last few hours.

"See, I told you she'd wake up," Allie whispered to Roman, happiness nearly bursting from her.

Roman only smiled at her, before his eyes drifted back to Jane's face looking so content she couldn't help but love him just a little bit.

She knew Kurt and the other would be here soon but for now she just let herself enjoy the moment.


	6. Chapter 6

Hello guys!

Sorry Ive been away for so long but I promise that I am doing my best to be more reliable and get these stories finished! I love all of you who are visting for the first time or who have stuck with me through all this craziness! I hope this chapter is everything you've waited for and more!

So much love,

Fallen

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

The next time Jane opened her eyes all she could hear the beeping of machines, and the steady sounds of people breathing around her. For a second she couldn't think of where she was or what she was doing there. But then it all came rushing back, the final mission, Naz's betrayal, the look in Shepard's eyes as she drove the knife in again and again.

She remembered talking to Roman and then shutting her eyes. Distantly she thought she'd woken up in this hospital room once before. But her brain couldn't quite grasp the memories.

She tried to sit up but instantly white hot pain erupted from her abdomen and she fell back against her pillow with a tiny groan. Yeah, getting stabbed multiple times apparently didn't bode well for sitting up. Instead she turned her head and gingerly brought her hand to the bedrail to mechanically lift the head of the bed. With that she finally got her chance to survey the room.

It seemed as if everyone she'd ever known sat in various places around the room all of them fast asleep. Roman lay to her left, though he wore a hospital gown and about a million wires he hadn't laid down in the empty hospital bed beside her. Instead he occupied a chair with his head down on her bed right next to her hand.

She couldn't help the fond smile that came to her lips as she gently brushed her fingers through his hair. She ignored the pain of that skidded along her hand as she did it, instead she just enjoyed the fact that her brother had made it. She hadn't failed him. Not this time.

Then she continued her slow observation of the room, Patterson slept on the chair beside Roman, her head tipped back in an angle that looked painful even from her and soft snores coming from her in uneven patterns.

She looked adorable. Jane didn't think that she'd come to see her but her heart felt warm that she had. Behind her Reade and Zapata had crammed onto the couch in the corner of the room, Zapata laying with her head in Reade's lap while Reade mirrored Patterson's position, though his head rested against the wall instead of hanging precariously off the back of a chair.

This time surprise truly bolted through her. She didn't understand why they would be here, but at the same time she felt glad they had. The last few months hadn't brought much improvement, but the hostility had mostly faded.

She wondered if the team would ever be able to forgive her.

Maybe now she'd get the chance to find out.

Then her eyes settled on him, at the foot of her bed, his head laying besides her feet was Kurt, the soft light in the room made the shadows under his eyes darker and his brow furrowed as if he were enduring a bad dream. She wanted to wake him but fear kept her from interfering. Instead she simply cataloged his presence and forced herself to move on.

She didn't want to deal with all the feelings he brought out in her. Too many to count.

Then her eyes settled on Ally, who lay directly across from Roman, Jane's right hand firmly held in her own as Ally lay beside her. Jane could see Ally's go bag in the corner and traces of her things across the room.

Just how long had Jane been here?

She threaded her fingers through Ally's and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. She'd never imagined that one night would change her life so much, but she'd never been so grateful to have someone in her life before. Except Roman, but that was a different kind of grateful.

She looked up tiredly at the sound of someone entering the room and saw Dr. Borden walking in with a coffee in hand. At first, he didn't notice her, but when he did he gave her a blinding smile.

He approached the bed careful not to disturb the sleeping agents, "Hello Jane, I've never been so happy to see your smiling face. How are you feeling? Do you need me to get the nurse?"

Jane let his soft accent wash over her as she tried to process everything he said. Her brain didn't seem to be moving at its normal speed, she wondered what drugs they'd put her on, "I feel tired and sore, but I think I'm okay right now." She whispered back, wincing at how dry her throat felt.

As if sensing it, Borden put down his coffee and moved to fill her a small glass of water.

After taking a few sips she took her turn asking him questions, "How long have you all been here?"

"Ally called us to tell us you'd woken up, and everyone came as soon as the director would dismiss them. I joined after my last session, so I'd say about five hours or so. You were asleep by the time everyone got here, but they were determined to stay in case you woke up again."

"How long was I out?" She asked, almost afraid of the answer.

Borden gave her a kind smile, sensing her discomfort, "You were rushed to the hospital almost four days ago, you were in a coma for three and a half days, but you woke up on your own. You took quite the beating Jane, we were worried about you."

"I can tell, do you know what all happened?" She could feel how many places in her body ached, but the drugs dulled most her pain. And interfered with her ability to run a diagnostic of her own body.

Before he could speak, the hand gripping hers tightened and Jane's attention diverted to the blonde on her right as she slowly stirred awake.

"Jane?" Ally's voice sounded muddled with sleep, but her eyes seemed alert as she sat up.

Jane gave her best smile, "Ally, I'm sorry if we woke you, how are you?"

"How am I? How are you, you crazy woman!" Ally demanded, making no attempts to keep her voice down as she looked at Jane.

"I feel like I got hit by an eighteen-wheeler, but I think they put me on the good stuff." She replied cautiously.

Ally glared at her, "I bet you do, be lucky I don't know your middle name Jane Doe or I would be using it. Do you have any idea how badly you scared us? How badly you scared me?"

Suddenly as quickly as whatever anger Ally felt appeared it faded, and tears sprung to her eyes, "Jane, we thought you were going to die, do you understand that?"

Any happiness Jane had felt evaporated as she watched tears stream down her best friend's face, "I'm sorry Ally, I didn't want to put you through this."

She hated watching Ally break down, but Ally seemed unable to stop as sobs suddenly wracked her body. As she continued to cry, incomprehensible words pouring out of her mouth as her hand shook in Jane's, and slowly the rest of the room began to stir.

Jane did her best to pull Ally to her, but she didn't have much strength now. Thankfully the blonde collapsed into Jane's side, muffling her tears in Jane's shoulder. Jane ignored the stab of pain that came from the pressure and instead as best she could have rubbed her hand down Ally's back.

She met Kurt's eyes from over Ally's shoulders, he'd woken up sometime during the process and seemed to be fighting tears of his own.

She didn't know what she'd do if everyone started crying.

"Ally, shush, it's going to be okay," She whispered, eyes never leaving Kurt's as her attention wavered between Ally and the rest of the room as one by one the people around her woke up.

Ally continued to cry. Jane had no idea what to do, she never really had much experience with dealing with other people crying. And her own tactics probably weren't the most helpful in this situation.

Slowly Kurt gave her a weary smile, his hand squeezing her foot gently, "It's good to see you awake Jane, how are you feeling?"

Somehow, she got the feeling she'd be hearing that questions a lot in the coming days, but she shrugged looking down at Ally, "Overwhelmed?"

The drugs might be making her a bit more up front then she'd usually be.

He let out a little laugh, "I can imagine."

"I was just getting ready to tell Ms. Doe, about her injuries, it seems that she doesn't quite remember them," Borden cut in, "But if one of you would like to fill her in?"

Jane looked around the room again, and almost startled, Reade and Zapata had moved to stand between Patterson and Kurt. Suddenly it felt a little stifling as if she had no space anymore.

But she forced her breath to remain even and ignored how her heart started to pound. Instead she looked over at Roman and Patterson, shocked again to see that tears had risen to Roman's eyes and streamed steadily down Patterson's face.

Roman spoke before anyone else had the chance, "I can do that, Jane, Shepard didn't go down easy. You fractured your left wrist, broke four fingers, fractured two others and bruised the rest. You have four broken ribs, a dislocated rib and four bruised ribs. You have four stab wounds to your abdomen, all of which required a total of 32 stitches, you sprained your right knee and your left ankle. This all coupled with the severe bruising to your face."

"But you gave as good as you got," Zapata chimed in from the background, "Though you're probably going to be limping around for a few weeks after you get out of the hospital."

Jane grimaced, "What happened to Naz?"

She could deal with why the team all stood around her so willingly another time. She knew the kind of things that could happen to a person when someone they knew almost died on them. No matter how much problems they had before it happened.

She knew that Shepard burned a hole in the back of her mind, and even now she wondered what might have happened if Shepard had lived. Some tiny part of her wishing that she had the chance to see if Shepard could have changed.

"She's back with the NSA, after being involved so directly with Sandstorms takedown, and flipping you she's back to heading her own unit. She hasn't spoken to any of us since the debrief, even sent an errand boy to give us the paperwork detailing what would happen to Roman and you," Zapata spit, clearly pissed off about something.

"She set the charges early," Jane confided, eyes drifting to the ceiling as silence met her proclamation. Even Ally quieted, her breath harsh against the sudden quiet.

"What do you mean she set them early?" Kurt asked, and Jane could picture the way his face had gone hard, his eyes drilling into her cheeks.

Jane hesitated but again the drugs loosened her tongue, "She told me she'd set them for forty-five minutes, to correspond with your arrival, they went off 7 minutes and 35 seconds early."

Zapata cursed, and much to Jane's surprise, Patterson let out a stream of curse words that would have made a sailor blush, "You mean it's because of that bitch you're in this hospital bed?"

Jane looked away, "I can't say that, but it would have been easier if I'd had the time I thought I did to make sure everything went smoothly. I wasn't prepared when they went off, and I could have been."

"Shepard still would have fought," Roman told her but his eyes burned at the possibility that she'd been betrayed.

She grimaced, "I know but I had a plan. I wanted her to pay but she was our mother. I didn't want her to die."

Roman looked away, but Jane grabbed his hand, ignoring the sting of her busted fingers as she squeezed tightly. She'd been the one to bring her down, but Roman had pulled the trigger. She didn't want to imagine what that was doing to him, "We did what we had to do, and even if we wanted to we can't change what happened."

Roman didn't respond merely gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Kurt, do you have nothing to say?" Ally had sat up at some point during the conversation, her face stained with tears now flushed with anger, "That bitch almost got Jane killed, and you were too busy banging her to protect your agent, no better yet to protect your friend. You knew she was trouble, hell she bugged the fucking FBI headquarters and you didn't do shit."

All the eyes in the room shifted to Kurt, clearly Jane wasn't the only one caught off guard by what had just come out of Ally's mouth.

"She did what?" Reade spoke up for the first time, his face hard as he stared at his boss and his friend.

Kurt's face had become unreadable to Jane but she wondered what he could possibly have to say, "Jane, I'm sorry, I never wanted that to happen. I made a mistake with Naz, but I've been trying to fix it. Yes, she did bug Borden's office, but at the time her reasoning made sense."

"Oh, and what reasoning could that be Kurt? We're a team, we're supposed to trust each other, how are we supposed to trust you if you allowed that to happen? I mean you're saying that everything we said to Borden after Naz arrived she knows?" Zapata sounded angrier then Jane had heard her since she first showed up at the hotel Jane had worked at before they brought her back in.

"Look, it was a mistake, she said she did it to listen in to Jane's session. To make sure we could trust you Jane, and at the time I thought it was a good idea. I didn't trust you then," Kurt's eyes pleaded with her but her heart had gone cold. She knew it had been bad but she'd confided things to Dr. Borden, things that she wanted no one to know. Did Naz tell them to Kurt? Did she have them in a file somewhere anyone could find them?

"What is wrong with you people?" She looked at Roman, and he had the look in his eyes she associated with violence, "You're supposed to be Janes friends? I don't know everything that happened but from what Ally's told me things haven't been easy for Jane since she found you. Then you bugged her therapy sessions? Are you fucking sick? Did my sister not give enough for you? Cause I've seen what's under that gown, and it looks like she's bled enough for you."

It seemed once he started he couldn't stop and Jane listened in growing horror, "I know she came to you with ten fucking scars on her body, ten, and she came back to us with more than I can count. I know enough to know she didn't get taken by Cade, and there aren't many places someone goes to get scars like that. So, you tell me, where the fuck were you when whoever did that to her tortured her like a fucking animal?"

No one in the room would look at him, and the silence stretched. Jane watched one by one as the faces on her teammates broke, first Patterson, tears streaming down her face as guilt flooded her features, then Zapata, Reade and finally Kurt. All of them broke under Romans gaze.

"That's what I thought, be lucky for some god forsaken reason my sister still feels something for you shitty excuses for human beings. Or I swear one night you'd wake up and I'd be there."

He'd killed for her before, she knew he meant every word.

"Roman, please, they had their reasons. They didn't know," she said, finally finding her voice, though it shook as hard as her fingers in his.

Roman shook his head, "No Jane, don't make excuses for them, they let that happen to you. It's time they think about that, but not only that. Because of them, you almost died again. I can't forgive that, maybe you can but I can't. So as far as I'm concerned you all can get the fuck out of our room until you have something to say for yourself because I'm sick of looking at your faces."

She thought they might argue, but one by one they fled the room.

Zapata stopped at the door as if she wanted to say something but she took one look at Jane's face and left. Her face falling as tears trickled down her cheeks. Even Reade stopped, "Jane, I'm sorry, we'll make this right." He promised before he too left the room.

Patterson stood, barely breathing for how hard she cried, "I never meant for it to happen this way, and I swear I didn't know about Naz, Jane. I'm so sorry, but I promise I'll be better."

Jane shook her head, "No Patterson, you were the best of us, it wasn't your fault."

Patterson just shook her head as she moved to leave, "No Jane your wrong, I could have said something, I could have stood by you. Instead I watched you suffer, I let them take you and I never looked. That's on me. But I'm going to fix this, I will."

Jane just watched her go, unable to think of anything to say to that, her brain overworked and overwhelmed by the sudden turn of events.

Finally, only Kurt stood in front of her, his face stoic, but his eyes made him look vulnerable and unsure, "Jane, I don't know what to say, but I'm sorry. I've been an asshole, and I don't know if you'll ever forgive me. But you've done so much for me and my family, I'm going to try to find a way to level the playing field."

She didn't say anything, just watched as he gave her one last nod, and darted a look at Ally before he too swept out of the room.

When the room lay empty except for Jane, Roman and Ally, she collapsed against the pillow, "What just happened?" She asked them, suddenly drained and upset.

She'd only just woken up and already the chaos of her life had destroyed what little peace she had.

"I think something that's been needing to happen since you got back," Ally replied, curling her hand around Jane's, an exact mirror to Roman, "But I'm sorry that I caused that. I didn't mean to say all that it just came out."

"It's fine Ally, you were just trying to look out for me, and I can't be mad at you for that," Jane replied, her voice starting to grow faint as a wave of exhaustion hit her like a ten-pound brick.

Roman just looked at her before bringing a hand up to brush a stray hair from her face, "I'm not sorry for what I said, but I'm sorry if it hurt you. But now's not the time to worry about this Jane, you need to go to sleep, and get some rest. We can figure everything out in the morning, okay?"

Jane nodded, but before she gave in she turned to Ally, "IS Rosaline going to come see me soon?" Just the thought of her unofficial goddaughter's face was enough to pull her from the pool of misery that swirled in her gut.

Ally nodded, "She'll be here when you wake up in the morning."

"Okay." With that Jane let her eyes slide shut, she hoped every day of her recovery wouldn't be quite this crazy.

But knowing her it would be.

-0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

HOLY HELL that was a hard chapter to write! I hope I did it justice, and to anyone wondering about Roman's behavior. This is a man whose whole world fell apart, but Jane his sister is the one thing he's always been able to rely on. So yes in coming chapter he's going to have to deal with everything that happened, but right now his sister is alive and needs him. Nothing else matters, so I know he might be a little AU right now, but try to put yourself in his shoes.

Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Next chapter Baby Rosaline makes an appearance, and someone on the team finds a way to make up for their sins against our baby Jane!

We are looking at about five-six more chapters at the most guys! Almost to the end! SO IF THERES ANYTHING AND I MEAN anything you'd like to see that you haven't so far please tell me! J


	7. Chapter 7

Hello again guys!

Sorry Ive been away so long, in truth this is my favorite of all my currently running blindspot stories and I really need to finish it! It deserves that, and you guys deserve it for sticking around! I really cannot thank you guys enough for reading this story and enjoying it with me!

I am honored to have you guys as my audience and hope you know how much it means to me each time one of you favorites, follows, or comments. It really keeps me going!

Hope you enjoy this chapter and as always so much love,

Fallen

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

In the weeks following Roman and Jane's release from the hospital her life began to change.

Piece by piece it came together in ways that she had never expected.

First, she and Roman moved from her safe house into a lovely apartment bought and paid for by the FBI. Allie and the team threw her a welcome home party, and she found that nary a day went by without a visitor. Allie practically moved in for the first two weeks after she left the hospital, Rosaline and Mike came along with her. They stayed in the small guest bedroom they had helped her and Roman set up.

Well, to be honest, the room they set up entirely by themselves. Especially in those first few weeks, Jane didn't do much moving around, the pain from her various injuries kept her largely in bed. Roman fared better than her but even he didn't do much heavy lifting.

But still, healing came slow, both physically and mentally. Her body healed, while her relationship with the team healed.

It had started small, Patterson showing up with her favorite tea the first Sunday after she'd been released, a small host of board games tucked under her arms. Even Roman couldn't resist the sunny blonde's open expression, and he let her in before Jane could call for her from the living room. She'd been carried to the couch by Mike before he left for work that day.

It had been a lovely night. Some awkwardness hovered over them, but she never felt Patterson needed to do much to mend the rift between them. By the end Roman had even asked her to return, and so Sunday game night had become a "thing". Allie and Mike joined nearly every weekend and slowly the team began to trickle in too.

Zapata, a much less welcome guest, was the next to show up on their doorstep. It had taken Jane nearly thirty minutes to convince Roman to let her in after he'd shut the door in her face.

Allie had spent a _little_ too much time telling Roman how the others had treated her.

But when he finally opened the door, Zapata came in with about a dozen grocery bags hanging from her finger tips. Apparently, her mother's recipes were the cure for all woes. Which was exactly how Jane found herself dining on the most exquisite homemade tamales, corn tortillas with slow cooked pork, stuffed peppers and a Hispanic dessert she could never remember the name of.

Somehow, she didn't think that Zapata-Tasha now- had been wrong that night.

Her mother's cooking did begin their healing. Though that first night, nor the second or even the third went as smoothly as the first with Patterson, that night something in them shifted. But of course, it wasn't until the night Roman and Tasha got into an hour long screaming match that things really changed. When Zapata unloaded all her own guilt, and the truths that had plagued her since Jane's arrest, Jane understood that Zapata was as broken beneath all her bravado as Jane was.

It wasn't long after that that Zapata began to join them on Sundays, always brining some elaborate and delicious meal to share with her. And somehow, they always managed to have enough to feed them for a few days after she left.

Which was good, given that Jane literally knew nothing about cooking, and couldn't stand for more than ten minutes at a time for almost two and a half weeks. And that all Roman knew about cooking was how to heat up MRE's and work a microwave. It certainly went a long way towards getting Roman to look at Tasha with something less than disgust on his face.

(Though she'd long since suspected that Tasha's brutal, sarcastic humor amused Roman, and that he only kept up the façade out of familial obligation.)

In fact, more than once she'd caught him hiding a smile when he opened their door to let Tasha in.

Of course, after Zapata it didn't take long for Reade to arrive. Though he came to the door with beer, and a mind full of statistics for the latest Thursday night football game. She hadn't even thought that he remembered how much she'd loved the game when he'd shown it to her for the first time nearly two years ago.

Before the CIA, they'd watched every game that came on together if they had the time. It had been a bonding thing between them, and she was touched that he remembered.

Roman didn't take as much talking to when it came to letting Reade in. Though Jane often thought it had more to do with the beer in his hands than any lack of hatred towards the man. Jane's meds had kept her off of alcohol for many weeks, but Roman hadn't had the same problem.

By the end of the night she'd had two giant drunk men on her sofa, both of them taking turns serenading her over their team's victory. Apparently, they both liked the Giants, and she was their lady luck now.

She had laughed so hard she popped some of her stitches listening to them that night.

It became a running trend. Both Reade coming over for games, and the two men ending up drunk by the end of it. They also continued to insist that without her the team would never win, as the _one_ time she'd been too sore and tired to attend a game the team had lost in what could only be described as "a slaughter".

She hadn't been permitted to miss a game since.

That's the story of how Sunday game nights took on a dual meaning; board games competing with whatever game they had to watch that night and more than a few beers being passed between everyone.

Jane, who stayed sober throughout, found immense pleasure in watching everyone she loved getting rosy cheeks and glassy eyes. Their actions and words becoming more and more ridiculous as the night wore on.

Best of all were the nights that Allie came, and she got to have Rosaline sitting on her chest. Somehow managing to sleep through all their ruckus.

Then there was Kurt, who'd been there the first night with all the others to welcome her to her new home. Who'd helped along with the rest as they painted her apartment for her, brought up furniture and other odds and ends.

She thought that they had all added about 50 boxes to her meager possessions. All of which helped make her apartment home, from the full kitchen set she knew Kurt had bought her, to the fuzzy green throws and the knit blanket for her bed knitted by Patterson, to the beautiful pictures blown up and hung on her walls, taken by Reade who'd introduced her to photography ages ago when he'd discovered her love of art, to the board games brought one by one by them all, and the sketch pads that found their way to her table after a visit.

They'd been taking care of her all that time.

But Kurt, Kurt did the most in his silent quiet way. He was the first one to leave her a sketch book and the nicest set of pencils she'd ever seen beside her bedside after one of his visits in the hospital. When she arrived home, a small tea set sat on her bedside table, with a mini kettle already filled with water. She only knew it was from him because she remembered weeks after meeting him that she'd told him how beautiful she thought a tea set they'd seen in a museum had been.

But even then, it had been clear she hadn't thought herself worthy of such beautiful things.

Tiny gifts like that seemed to materialize all over the apartment; she imaged he'd placed them there when they'd had the party and it took her days to find them all. From her favorite soap in the bathroom with matching bubble bath, to her favorite ice-cream sitting in the door of the freezer, and books she'd been dying to read sitting on shelves.

Despite all these little things that filled her heart with such an insurmountable amount of affection, it took Kurt nearly a week and a half to show his face in their apartment. He'd, of course, sent texts every day to check up on her and keep her up to date on things in the office.

There were still a bazillion and two tattoo cases to solve. But without her the team seemed to be making slow progress.

Jane hadn't thought she'd want to go back but as soon as she got out of the hospital the itch to return started. But even she knew better than to push herself now. Her body too weak, both from her injuries and Jane's own neglect. A fact Allie wouldn't let her forget.

So, when the doorbell rang one Wednesday, she'd assumed Patterson or Tasha had shown up on an off day. Bored and tired, wanting to play games or talk while they ate takeout from the restaurant of the day.

But the anger in Roman's voice quickly pushed that thought right out of her head. She couldn't make out what they were saying from her position on the couch but she could tell that they were arguing. Finally, Roman stormed into the room, his eyes alight and promising pain, "Do you want him in here?"

He practically spat the words as he pointed at the man walking in behind him, "Kurt?" She asked, shocked to see him standing in front of her.

He gave her a smile, though it hardly touched his eyes, "Hello Jane, can I come in?"

She nodded, looking at Roman, "Roman, be nice please?"

Roman just glared, "I don't understand why you're letting him in here, but don't expect me to sit here and act like I don't think he deserves to rot in hell for what happened to you." After waking up to her nightmares almost daily, Jane had been forced to tell him everything about what had happened to her. To say that he reacted poorly would be an understatement. She knew the wound was still too raw for him to even consider liking Kurt.

The others had gotten beneath his skin before the truth came out but even they had gotten frosty receptions.

"Roman, I know you don't like me and I understand why. But I promise you, I'm going to do everything I can to right the wrongs I've committed and I hope you'll give me a chance to make that happen." Kurt told him seriously, his eyes flickering to hers as he spoke, and Jane read the sincerity in his tone.

Roman, however, just scoffed, "You think a bunch of pretty words are going to fix this? They tortured my sister for three months, and you never once thought to save her. She saved herself! How exactly do you plan to right that?"

Kurt looked as if he'd just been sucker punched, but he managed to reply, "I don't know, but I hope Jane will give me the chance to find out. I don't deserve a second chance but I came here to ask for one."

Before Roman could continue his rant, Jane held up her hand, "Roman, please, can you go make me some tea? I need to take my medication in thirty minutes and I need to speak to Kurt alone."

He looked like he wanted to protest but Jane just sent him the look she'd begun to think of as her patented ' _your-sister's-had-enough-of-your-shit'_ look and he did as she asked. When they were alone, an awkward silence hovered between them before Jane gestured to the couch beside her.

At first Kurt said nothing, but then he opened his mouth and the flood gates released. He apologized, citing all his mistakes and regrets. Both past and present.

She listened for almost twenty minutes as he poured his heart out to her, before she finally stopped him.

"Kurt, we've both made mistakes, but it's in the past. I want to come back to the team, and I want to come back to our friendship. It's going to take work for us to go back to what we were but I think there's still hope for us."

She thought she might have shot the man for how surprised he looked, and then suddenly his shoulders straightened as if a huge weight had been lifted from them. He smiled at her then, in a way he hadn't since the night they kissed so long ago, "Nothing makes me happier than to hear that Jane."

She just smiled, "Well all the little gifts I've been finding might have warmed me up a bit."

He stayed for a while longer, until Roman skulked into the room with her tea and told him she needed to take her medication and go to bed.

But things between them didn't simply fall back into place. No, it took months of hard work for all of them to find their rhythm again. Jane began physical therapy, and Roman started to work as a consultant for the team.

Every Sunday their apartment filled to the brim with friends and family, as they laughed and drank.

Things started to feel like home again.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

So guys there's going to be one more chapter with a bit of a time jump! Hope you all like it and hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	8. Chapter 8

Hi guys!

Long time no see! I'm finally here with the final chapter of this story! First story I've ever finished, I honestly can't believe that I got to this point! I hope you all enjoy this one! I am very open to a sequel possibility, so if there's anyone interested in that please let me know!

Thank you, thank you, thank you guys for taking this journey with me and sticking with me! There are simply no words to say how much it means to me that you guys support and appreciate my work! That's what drives me to write even when things seem to be out of control and I'm not sure if I can anymore!

Love,

Fallen

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"Hello there, my beautiful Rosaline," Jane cooed as she stole her god daughter out of Allie's arms, blowing her belly as she held her above her head, "Oh yes, Aunty Jane loves you, yes she does."

Her own laughter boiled up as she listened to the little girl's happy giggles, and she nearly lost herself in her joy as the little girl in her arms begged her to stop, "Stawp, Auntie, Stawp," The little girl cried, even as she giggled, and laughed, her tiny body wiggling in Jane's arms.

Finally, she relented, and brought the girl down to her hip, "Hello little one, how are you today?"

The girl, a bright-eyed blonde with big beautiful blue eyes, smiled at her, "Good, Auntie, I is happy!"

"Well that's good, Auntie Jane is so happy to see you," She told the girl, marveling at how big she had gotten. In just a few months she would two but thanks to her various Uncles and Aunts work she'd hit her milestones months early. She would be unstoppable, and fierce when she reached adulthood. Jane couldn't believe that she would get a chance to be there to see it. Suddenly, fiercely, she thanked the god's that she had lived.

"So, how are you doing Jane?" Allie asked, pulling her into a one-armed hug, and placing a sloppy kiss on her cheek.

"Really?" She asked before leaning over to return the favor, when Allie shrieked she just laughed, "You know you deserved that."

Rosaline just laughed at their antics, by now the little girl had grown used to their shenanigans, "But I'm great, classes started last week, and we closed another tattoo case the other day. It's just hard," She confessed, "Hard to believe that tomorrow is the anniversary, you know? I never thought I'd be here. Never thought I'd get to see Shepard's empire fall, let alone live to see the aftermath, you know?"

She set down Rosaline, "Why don't you go play with uncle Roman, and daddy, baby?" The little girl shot her a toothy grin and immediately took off for the two men. She watched for a moment as Roman turned, feigning surprise as Rosaline leaped on him. Her heart could hardly handle the happiness she felt watching them, how far they had all come. Even Kurt and Roman had fallen into a quiet friendship, though it had taken them months and months after she'd gotten out of the hospital to even speak without it dissolving into an argument.

But she forced herself to look away, just as Kurt came up beside Roman to pretend to fight Roman for Rosaline. She turned to Allie, and what she saw there made her frown, as she reached over to pull her friend into a real embrace, "I'm sorry Allie, I know you don't like to think about it."

The blonde just shrugged, squeezing her tightly, "It's not that Jane, I want you to talk about it, that's a good thing. I just, god, every time I think about it I remember how close we came to losing you. You don't remember those first few days, I know, but I will never forget them. No matter how much I try, and I don't ever want to see you like that again."

Jane nodded, "I know Allie, and you know that I'm doing my best to prevent that."

"I know Jane, you have come so far, and I love seeing you happy again. But I worry, you know that, even when there's nothing to worry about I find a way," Allie replied as she pulled back, her voice strong despite the tears that had gathered in the corner of her eyes.

"But enough about me, and my feels, how are you liking your classes so far?" Allie asked, her smile returning to her face, as she threaded her arm into Janes. Slowly they made their way over to the park bench closest to the boys and Rosaline. Both enjoying the way the two adult men bowed to the whims of the tiny little girl besides them.

She'd always know her brother and Kurt had hearts of gold, but anyone who might have doubted them only had to see them with Rosaline. Her heart melted every time.

But she refocused as they sat down, "I'm loving them already, pottery especially is already kicking my ass in the best way. Sometimes its crazy, because I never thought I'd get the chance to see all this, to see Rosaline grow. Now, I'm living my life, doing things I love. I still get to help people, but I have hobbies now. I have real friends, a real family," She let her hand reach out to squeeze Allie's as she said that last part, "I have a real life outside of work, I'm finally figuring out who Jane is without all the other white noise. I'm starting to think I might even like who I'm discovering."

She sat back and let herself think about all the things that had happened.

In the year since she'd taken down Shepard and destroyed sandstorm so many things had changed. All of them for the better it would seem, Roman had been released as per her arrangement with the FBI, and he'd moved in with her. They'd found an apartment together, using only a portion of the money the FBI and the government ended up giving them, to purchase a beautiful loft overlooking the river. With help from the team, Allie, her detail, and a few other people she'd met they turned the loft into home. Painting the walls beautiful, warm colors, and filling it with trinkets, and odd & ends that made it feel like it belonged to them.

After months of physical therapy, and hard work she'd started back with the team. This time in a true consultation role, only involving herself in the tattoo cases that occasionally popped up. She was also there as a resource, based on her various skills, she often helped Patterson in the lab or helped translate for random teams through the headquarters. Funny how many friends she made that way. Roman, on the other hand had joined the team full time, it had been a bumpy few months as they all adjusted.

But it wasn't long until he found his place among them, and soon all she heard about was the team this and the team that. She found it oddly cute. She also wasn't surprised when, a few months after Borden and Patterson broke up, Roman and the petite blonde began to see each other.

Game nights at the house after that had gotten more interesting!

Speaking of love, only two months ago Kurt and her had gone on their first date. After months of him practically falling to his knees in front of her, and doing everything imaginable to prove himself to her, he'd worked up the courage. Apparently, he'd asked Roman's permission first, a conversation she still would have paid to see happen, but in the end, he'd won it.

In fact, it had been Kurt and Roman who had finally convinced her to submit a portfolio to NYU's art program. She'd never thought for a moment she would get it, but their faith in her gave her the courage to try. So, imagine her surprise when only a few weeks after their first date, she'd gotten a fat acceptance letter in the mail.

That night she'd cried, but for the first time in a long time they'd been tears of pure joy.

She'd gone in the next day to work, and found that the team had set up a huge surprise party for her in congratulations. Allie, Rosaline and Mike had even snuck in to be a part of the celebration. She often thought that was the moment she truly realized that everything had righted itself. The life she'd always dreamed of was finally hers. It had been a startling realization for her.

"I know, and I'm so happy for you Jane. There's nothing you deserve in this world more than to be happy with your life and with yourself," Allie told her, leaning over to put her head on Jane's shoulder, immediately Jane moved to wrap an arm around her friends' shoulder.

"Well, you know I never would have gotten here if I hadn't of run into you that night in the gas station," She told her friend, "You saved me that night, you know that."

Allie shook her head against Jane's neck, "No Jane, you saved yourself, I just gave you something to hold onto while you found yourself."

Before she could reply, Rosaline came tottering towards them, her little legs going as fast as they could, "Save me Auntie, Save me." She screamed as Roman and Kurt trailed after her, deliberately slow with their movements.

Jane hopped up, careful not to jostle Allie and raced forward scooping the little girl up in her arms and facing the men in a mock fighter pose, "Get away from my niece you monsters," Rosaline laughed triumphantly, throwing her tiny fists into the air mimicking her, "I don't want to have to hurt you."

The boys stopped, looked at each other and then back at her before they started racing towards her, "No, stay away," She shouted as she ran away from them, laughing so hard she could barely see in front of her, but clinging tightly to the little girl in the arms, "Think we can get away from them?" She asked her god daughter between the giggles.

"Run, Auntie, run," Rosaline shrieked in response, "Fawter, fawter!"

Jane continued to run, glancing back to see the boys gaining ground, but ahead she saw Patterson, Zapata, and Reade wondering down the path towards them. Immediately she changed direction, racing toward them, "Tasha, Reade, Patterson help us!" She shrieked at them.

They look startled, but then smiled broke out on their faces, "Hurry Jane, we'll save you," Patterson cried in response, Tasha and Reade assuming mock battle stances.

"Fuck, Kurt, we got to get her before she reached them," Roman called from behind her, and she felt more than saw them speed up. Rosaline of course found this terribly amusing, her bell like laughter raising high above all the adult's mock conversation.

Just a few feet from them, Jane allowed herself some fun, and slid across the ground to land right in front of Tasha, Patterson, and Reade, "Ha-ha we made it kid," She cried to the little girl tucked safely in her arms.

Behind her the boys collapsed in mock defeat, "They got away from us, Roman, what are we going to do?"

Above her the others laughed, Reade reaching down to help her up, "Nice moves there Jane, I see that physical therapy really had gotten us back our Terminator."

Jane laughed, allowing him to pull her to her feet, "Was there ever any doubt?"

"Maybe for the idiot boys, but us girls knew from day one that our Jane was going to be back kicking ass before we could blink," Zapata snapped back at Reade with a big smirk, her brown eyes a light with laughter. That started them all going, and she took a moment to enjoy their banter as they mocked the boys for their loss and celebrated Rosaline and her's victory.

By the time they reached Allie on the bench Jane's belly hurt from laughter, and one look at Allie told her how happy her friend truly was.

She couldn't begin to say her thanks for all the blessings she'd received in this life.

An hour later, she clutched a sleeping Rosaline to her chest, as they all ate at their favorite restaurant by the park. Again, she marveled at Roman's happy expression as he bantered with the team, his arm wrapped around Patterson's shoulder as the petite blonde smiled up at him. She herself, sat tucked between Kurt and Allie, both casually touching her in a way that made her feel so very special.

Then suddenly, Allie spoke, "Now, I know we all do this every week, but I have something to tell everyone."

The table quieted as everyone turned to look at her, but Allie had eyes only for Jane, "Well, Jane, and team," She said with a small laugh, throwing a glance around the table before she turned back to Jane, "It seems like you may get to be a god mother again."

For a second Jane and the others were silent, and then all at once the conversation burst to life. Congratulations, and excitement turning into a cacophony of noise. Through it all Jane's voice broke through, "Oh Allie, I am so happy for you!"

She pulled her friend into a hug, careful of the baby in her arms, letting the happiness pull them into a bubble that felt indescribably amazing, "I'm going to be an Aunt again."

"You are," Allie told her, tears of happiness wetting both their shoulders.

Today felt like the beginning of the best chapter of her life, and as she pulled away she saw all the amazing things in her life together. She had a family and she had friends, and she had a life.

Someday, she thought as she pulled away to look at Kurt, she might have a child of her own. But until then her life felt complete. She felt happy, and there were no more shadows lingering over her life. Waiting to ruin her and everything she cared about.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Very LAST POLL OF THIS STORY! Can't believe I get to say that! But I wanted to have you all weigh in on my next Blindspot story, as I have a couple of ideas but only really the time to write one right now:

1\. Following Jane's torture at the CIA, her psyche is splintered, Remi the blood thirsty survivor, and Jane the fragile, doe-eyed innocent whose blacked out the majority of that happened to her. Take this journey as the team begins to realize that all is not right with Jane, and things are darker than they seem.

2\. Jane is not recaptured by the FBI, instead she is found by Sandstorm following her torture, and her mother uses the facts to turn her against the FBI. So this time Jane returns with one intention to take down the FBI and help her mothers plans succeed. Or does she? Is Jane really a double agent or is she now pulling a Snape level trick and operating as a triple agent?

3\. When Sheperd tricks Jane at the mid-season finale, instead of wiping Roman and returning to the FBI she flees. They'd never believe her anyway, and for once she watns to do something for herself. A Jane Roman adventure story, with a surpringly large amount of guest appearances. Will they stay on the run, build a new life together, or will Jane's conscious have her returning to where she belongs?


End file.
